Posted by Racer on May 25, 2004, at 18:10:11
Man, what a wretched existance. It was nice to have those days, though. And I do have three things to look forward to:
1. Next Tuesday I see the gastroenterologist again to find out what his tests said about the abdominal pain which is *not* from liver cancer, thank you very much. I'm trying to prepare myself to try to talk to him about my weight problem, but it's damned hard because it feels so shameful. We'll see if I can manage it. (He made a comment about my weight, so I think there's a fair chance that he'll bring it up if I don't. Especially since it's changed again.)
2. Next Tuesday I also see Dr EyeCandy. Always assuming I don't slip even farther between now and then, I plan to tell him about my little adventure in self-medication and see if he'll give working in that direction another chance. If not -- well, I'm trying not to think about the "if not."
3. Next month I start up with the new therapist picked out by our marriage counselor. In the meantime, I'm planning to write out a few things that I know about what I need, which I'll take to the MC to see if she thinks that they make sense and so that she can pass them on to the new T. The MC has said a few times things like, "They're having a hard time working with your intelligence" so I think she has a pretty good picture of what sort of person would work well with me. Not that I need a genius, just that I already have a fair amount of insight, I just can't seem to apply it in useful ways.
So, three things to look forward to.
The Little Hussy cat is having a frustrating day. I just saw her crouched, ready to pounce, and went to see why. There was a little brown dove perched on the balcony railing, watching her watch him. Then he flew away. She's calling him to coem back, so she can catch him. (She's never caught a bird in her life, because she's too freaky to go outside.)
Oh, and what brought all this on? After more than a year this time, and no relief in sight, that same damned agency set up a disability interview for me. The guy doing the interview (telephone) was nicer than anyone has any right to hope for, but hearing the life we were putting onto that form was devastating. That can't be me, that really can't be me.
At least the self-prescribed meds are keeping me from utter collapse, but damn -- that was brutal.
poster:Racer
thread:350549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/350549.html