Posted by noa on February 25, 2004, at 16:47:12
In reply to Re: How's this for a game for you » Racer, posted by shar on February 25, 2004, at 14:41:20
Shar, your image reminds me of some of my own issues. Not only that my existence can feel really painful, but that I often feel (or shall I say that deep down, I always carry the feeling that) I am horribly toxic to other people. Hence, the distance I tend to maintain.
I understand from the image why you feel the urge to hasten the end. I do NOT want you to act on that feeling, as you know. But if you see yourself as moving toward the end anyway and poisoning the environment around you as you do, I think I understand the urge.
But let me tell you--you are not toxic. You are so amazingly wonderful, such an important person to a lot of people, to me, to Babble. You are wise and funny and supportive and key to this community. You are also feisty and spirited and I admire you so much you can't even begin to imagine.
Shar, I know the pain is a lingering one that has haunted you for a long time, but it seems to be pressing down harder right now. Is there anything that has happened recently or is happening to cause that? Is this time of year a diffciult one for any reason? I know these things can be totally random, but sometimes there are connections to what is going on or to anniversary reactions.
Talk to us, rant, rave, shout, whatever--tell us.
poster:noa
thread:317013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040213/msgs/317632.html