Posted by Phil on June 10, 2002, at 7:22:54
Hope it's quite a way's off but decided on my burial plan. You gotta do these things.
I want yo be cremated like my mom was but I don't want to be in an urn in a church.
I want my ashes to be put into capsules(I've picked the colors)and then I want to be put in one of those big prescription bottles. Hey, is this cool or what? Remember, I have to be stored in a room no hotter than 80 degrees.
I'll have a package insert with my side effects listed and my life story on it. There won't be any refills because I always considered myself a controlled substance. Plus, materials are limited.
Warnings; Don't take seriously, has been known to lie like a dog, don't drink while on Phil,
don't mix with over an ounce of pot a day.
Do mushrooms as needed and #1...take orally. Despite appearances, Phil is not a suppository.
That will get bold print.
No expiration date or expiry for the Canadian's.
Don't split the capsules or take with water.
Take one capsule in the morning and be sure to drink 8 full ounces of Crown Royal with your dose. Miss a dose and your dead meat.
Known side effects(please read all 34 pages)
Don't take more Phil than you should; alittle of the basta** goes a long way.
Taking Phil while pregnant guarantees a baby with lose morals, bad attitude, flatulance, and a modest amount of talent..very modest. Plus doctors have reported baby's right out of the womb to cuss like a sailor. Your baby will only wear sequined clothing topped off with a white sequined Stetson with a peacock feather ala Sly Stone, circa 1973. The milk bottle,after 6 years of breast feeding must be phallic in appearance. Your kid won't go to school.
Do not use Phil for Good Friday or whatever ash day is.
poster:Phil
thread:373
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020416/msgs/373.html