Posted by Joanne on December 26, 1999, at 16:37:51
In reply to difference bet no 'future' and wanting to die?, posted by jane on December 14, 1999, at 19:16:13
> I wanted some feedback from folks on the difference between the "big black hole" where you struggle every minute to not die (been there - this isn't as bad) versus where I am now- I just can't see a future, not tomorrow , next week or anytime. So is this another bout of depression (but less intense) or is it midlife crisis and I should just 'get my act together'.
> I "function" day to day because I have responsibilities but I have no plans, joy or happiness.
> I am on meds and I thought they were working, but I'm not sure. I also am having trouble with concentration and putting together any complex thought (expressing myself now is a struggle) I don't have a pdoc anymore bec of insurance, so no one has the big picture of all my meds. The idea of re-evaluating my 'chemical cocktail' is overwhelming, but I really would appreciate any input. Thanks
Hi Jane,
Like you, I am so thankful not to be in that
"black hole" place. However, I know that where you are now is not "living" either. I've found that since I've been rescued from the "every moment I'm on the brink of death or insanity and every conscious moment is sheer pain and torment" place, and I'm somewhat stabilized mentally, psychotherapy has helped me tremendously. It took me five therapists to find the one for me, but it was well worth it. Because of the miracle of anti-depressant medication, I was able to function enough to do what was necessary to find a good therapist. My therapist, whom I used to see one a week (now it's about once a month) has made a HUGE difference in the quality of life and sense of "aliveness" that I'm able to experience again. As everyone knows, it's not all smooth sailing, and it's not a magic cure. However, for myself, therapy has made the difference between going through the motions of life and really acually feeling alive and there. Sorry about my grammar. I'm rushing and have to go. Good Luck. Joanne
poster:Joanne
thread:16921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991212/msgs/17529.html