Posted by Bob on October 31, 1999, at 20:39:01
In reply to SSRI-induced manic state?, posted by Ellen on October 31, 1999, at 18:19:24
> I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced hypomania (a mildy manic state) when taking SSRI's.
And what a ride it was! I had NEVER felt anything like that before, and part of me regrets ever leaving it behind. Since I had always been depressed (since 8 yrs old), I had no yardstick for what "happy" was supposed to be. I thought what I was feeling was normal, and that 100mg of zoloft/day had cured me. I jumped at every chance I had to start that "normal life" that had been denied to me, including moving in with someone I had known only for a month and spending about $16 grand ($10k of that on credit, the other my entire summer teaching salary which was supposed to go towards the charges) on those things in life I had been putting off for so long. Since no one had ever seen me "happy", when my GP suggested I stop the zoloft I thought it was a great idea (a good reason why folks should see a good pdoc -- my gp wasn't aware enough of what would happen to me stopping zoloft cold turkey after 30 years or so of depression and 6 months of medication). I had to beginning feeling that great way of feeling by myself, without those nasty meds.
So I crashed, deep and hard and long. I haven't responded well to anything my pdoc has wanted to try, with the recent exception of a TCA. I have two years of horrendous credit records to cope with, which I now can do thanks to Genus credit management or whatever they call themselves and my consolidated and closed credit card accounts. And, since co-habitation in NYC is as much a fiscal partnership as it is any other kind, I've been living with someone has gotten no clear message for over two years on whether I really want to spend the rest of the year, let alone the rest of my life, with.
And from reading accounts of people here and, before I arrived here, from Kay Jamison's personal accounts in An Unquiet Mind, I *do* think my mania was moderately mild.
As much as I crave feeling like that again, it's going to take me ten years to undo the fiscal damage I did. The emotional damage to myself and someone I honestly do care about, though maybe not the way I did back then ... well, that may take a bit longer.
If you think it would help, go ahead and print this out for her. Buy her An Unquiet Mind to read. Maybe THAT will get through -- it's a powerful book.
My girlfriend tried to reason with me about going off the meds ... she hadn't thought me manic at the time, but she did know it was a bad move. She had only known me a few months, tho, and was unsure. We both wish she would have called my GP and my therapist. I was in a state of mind that could not acknowledge that anything I was doing could possibly go wrong. I don't know if anyone would agree with me here, but I say if you can't get through to her, get through to her doctor. If she is manic, the crash will come ... and the effects of that crash will be a helluva lot more intrusive than showing your concern now would be.
Good luck,
Bob
poster:Bob
thread:14329
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991028/msgs/14337.html