Posted by macha on October 12, 1999, at 19:03:33
Okay, this looks like the perfect group to ask about my current dilemma. Since my mid-teens or before (not sure) I have had some interesting experiences: volatile moods/unecessary emotional intensity/paranoia, depression, visions & vivid dreams, magical belief, hearing "wavy noises" and seeing flashes of light as I awaken, ease in meditation (meaning I rarely have trouble using this to decrease anxiety), difficulty sleeping/remaining asleep/getting enough rest, forgetting familiar words, etc., etc. Never can remember them all at the same moment. ;>
Last year I took an interest in temporal lobe epilepsy due to its supposed connection with some cases of serial murder. This reading led me to realize that a lot of the weird stuff that happens to me fits the description of partial seizures. Current official diagnoses include allergies and asynchronous gonadotropin release (this from a GP), PTSD (years ago from a psychiatrist), depression (from a liscensed therapist), and transitional anxiety or something (from another therapist). What the hey, guys? I'm visiting that last therapist Thursday to ask her opinion and see if she knows any neurologists/psychiatrists who specialize in thinking rather than telling people, "It's all in your head." ( irony) Finding a decent doctor is not easy when you live in Bumble*@#!, AL. :>
Granted, there has been a lot of stress in my life lately. In the last year I have lost a longtime boyfriend, reunited with my abuser in therapy (gradually), stopped smoking with Zyban, stopped Zyban and started smoking again, tried the patch & failed, tried the patch again (successful so far), started exercising again, moved twice (once under unpleasant circumstances), changed jobs twice after briefly working nightshift at an animal ER, lost two pets, gained two more pets..... all of these things could trigger any number of underlying problems.
Great impression to give in a first post! I bet you all think I'm unstable now. I get the feeling it's safe to be honest around here, though. :>
A couple of months ago the sound & light show happened as I awoke. Since then, I've been unusually irritable toward others but not depressed as I understand it. Not suicidal. Usually thinking positively. The bad-mood times for me are first thing in the morning and in the evening trying to go to bed. This cacophany of neurotransmitters is bugging people I love (self included), and needs to be deciphered and treated.
Any ideas? Opinions? Similar experiences?
M.M.P.S. -- I hope I can return the favor one day soon! :)
poster:macha
thread:13038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/13038.html