Posted by DL on September 28, 1999, at 20:31:27
In reply to For DL of previous EMDR postings-how are you?, posted by phyl on September 28, 1999, at 0:40:48
> Hi DL--
> I can't recall your name offhand but I have found great comfort in reading your EMDR experiences and Toby's responses. Just wondering how it is going with you. Your courage to do EMDR has moved me so much closer to doing it myself to process my past traumas. I thank you for sharing with this audience at Psycho Babble. And I thank you for your honesty and courage. I hope all is well (hey, as well as it can be for us dealing with depression and additional challenges). Take care.
>
> --phylThank you so much for this message! I do read here but have not posted much for quite a while. I do wonder where Toby went? But, for almost a year he (?) supported me--starting at a time I was standing out at the edge of the cliff. Such as this I have not had in my life.
My EMDR has been sporadic. The therapist Toby sent me to is excellent. My only experience with a therapist before was the one at the local mental health center. Until I worked with a great therapist I didn't know what I was missing. But as is my luck, she is moving in early Dec and is transitioning her clients to other therapists. I will find it very hard to let her go. Because of the move she was away a lot of the summer and is only back now to teach her last semester in psych dept at college-then she's gone across the US.
I had 3 EMDR sessions scattered over the summer, then have been having EMDR once a week for the last month. It has served to bring into consciousness many things so I can see them with different eyes--and also lets me see how a number of diff feelings, pictures, events are connected. I feel quite tired after an hour+ session but sort of like I have just made it through 4 or 5 therapy sessions! I always get a little nervous before them, but once started I move with it well.
She is very experienced in EMDR and it is quite interesting to see how diff finger movements can instantly switch the thoughts, pictures in my mind. Usually she does the side to side movements and watches my eyes and body to gage how slow-fast-long to continue. sometimes when I am afraid/blocked or whatever, she does a diagonal movement, and a few times she has done a figure 8 movement for a short time. Don't know why the change but it seems to switch gears in me somehow.
A number of times I have had those "light bulb" feelings--where I suddenly see something from my past in a diff way. My eyes pop open and it's sort of a "wow" feeling--usually a relief to see it through diff eyes and free myself of the view through my eyes many years ago (which frequently was really through my father's eyes!)
It's hard to tell how much I have reprocessed. But I definitely feel like I am making progress. What's a little hard to take is that when some of the junk gets processed and mellows out, I am left with myself--and the fact that I need to learn new ways to see myself and to approach life. At one point I just assumed if I got the bad stuff talked out I would be "cured" !! Not so-just uncovered things that can be even harder to look at because they are rooted in my thought processes!
I can answer questions if you have any.
I have not seen a psychiatrist since last Jan. The one I saw was not very helpful. I have had to wait 4 months t0 see one the new therapist suggested--will see him this Friday. I'm a little nervous, but perhaps he will be able to get to the bottom of continued sleep problems and take a look at what i am taking. I somehow got the old office to renew my Remeron script a number of times without going in!
Thanks for thinking of me.
poster:DL
thread:12172
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991001/msgs/12215.html