Posted by jennyann on September 29, 1999, at 20:06:08
I am sitting in my physicians office today crying..staring at the blood pressure cuff because I am ashamed and embarrassed that I cant stop crying. I am almost thirty and I cant even control my own anxiety, my depression. he is nice, and seems genuinely invested in helping me figure out what I can do to combat my depression, my anxiety. I want badly to beg him for something that will knock me out, make me numb, make me S L O W. I tell him I am tired. I tell him I have analyzed myself and tried to make it stop with drugs and sex and psychotherapy and excercise and meditation and poetry and shopping and food and still....it persists. It is so much work just being present right now. I am trying to decide whether to go back to the meds; I've been off paxil for 5 months, and Im terrified to go back. I am terrifeid to not go back. maybe I am just terrified. so he suggests remeron. any input? it means alot just to know you're all out there...
JennyAnn
(formerly Hktty)
poster:jennyann
thread:12265
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990914/msgs/12265.html