Posted by Deborah on June 24, 1999, at 13:31:50
I have just spent a couple of hours here reading various posts, and am touched by our persistence. In spite of confusing labels and conflicting diagnoses, meds that work, then don't, side effects of a troubling nature...we persist. Sometimes when I come here, I seem more afraid and overwhelmed than before, but I understand that is part of my illness! The point is that I observe courage and willingness to reach out to others in their/our darkness and sorrow and confusion.
I am an only child, whose father died from alcoholism when I was 10. I became alcoholic myself, and have been sober for 17 years. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety/panic for 25 years. For 10 years I took nardil and that kept me sane enough to attempt looking at ME in various therapies, some more helpful than others. The nardil stopped working, so I tried paxil for about a year, but it recently seemed to "stop" also, so now am going to try effexor. Been on a low dose time-released for bout 5 days now...seem a little better.
If the effexor doesn't work..well...then we'll try something else. In the meantime, I pray, and always expect that I will grow through this..that there are answers, inside me. I know that now, my thinking is unclear, and I cannot seem to contact ME..vague and fuzzy feelings, mostly dead inside and don't care too much..until the panic hits!!! Then of course, I care desperately!
My purpose in writing is simply to remind myself...and you..that in these many posts I have read today..there is a deeply moving PERSISTENCE in us. We quit, we stop, we rage and cry out, but we do not give up. I am grateful that this chat room is here for me..and for you.
Deborah
poster:Deborah
thread:7776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7776.html