Posted by Dr. Bob on June 18, 1999, at 5:03:06
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, your input?, posted by mary on June 17, 1999, at 19:40:20
> I've debated with myself whether to mention my discomfort with the preceding paragraph or to let it ride, hoping that ignoring it would be the smarter choice. Sorry, I can't let it pass. The rest of the post was supportive and understanding and I am sure that was the intent of this paragraph... however...I think the mention of specific methods of suicide in a forum frequented by severely depressed people, (especially in response to someone who is suicidal) is never a good idea. I know I stored that info in the back of my mind, even though I don't know how, unless allowing for re-incarnation, anyone could prove the peaceful/no pain hypothesis. I'm stable right now and I "filed for future use". Can you imagine what we could be doing by offering this type of information to someone who is very unstable and in great pain?
> I agree with Annie. We ought to draw a line here and not do or say anything that allies us with the (potential or active) self-destructive feelings of anyone reading our posts. Does there need to be a guideline on this issue for the site?
> Count me in with the last two responders. I look at this site as a safe haven to hear hope, share failures but get hope, vent my frustrations and maybe even help someone else. I never really wanted to know a sure-fire easy approach. Like Annie, I. too, pocketed that piece of information. Trazadone didn't work for me years ago and a bridge was definitely too complicated (believe it or not). There are days when I need to hear "get through this one minute". Then worry about the next. I don't need to spend that minute trying to figure out where to get seraquel. I suppose it would be impossible to monitor all posts but I would prefer to go to a Hemlock website myself rather than find it at a site where I hope to find a reason not to get rid of myself.
First, I want to say that I very much appreciate the above comments, which I think are great examples of how much you care about each other. But this is a difficult issue.I believe, in general, in not telling people what they should or shouldn't do. And that it's good for them to be able to say what's on their mind. There have been controversial posts before, and I've had to lay down the law (or, rather, to make up the law), but it wasn't easy for me.
OTOH, it's important to think about how you might affect others. To respond to Victoria's question, if I had to issue a guideline, I think that would be it: please think about how you might affect others. (And I am *not* saying that nancy didn't; on the contrary, hers struck me as a thoughtful post.)
OTOH, you can't always know how someone else is going to be affected. Different people react in different ways. For example, sometimes having something to "file for future use" is better than not having anything, and just because you have something filed doesn't mean you're going to use it.
People who are suicidal are going to think about doing it whether or not others bring it up. And, as mary says, information about "self-deliverance" is out there; we can't just pretend that it isn't.
Mentioning something, however, is of course very different than recommending it.
Like Annie, I also wonder about the peaceful/no pain hypothesis -- but don't know how we can know.
Finally, though the issue of how to respond to others is important, I'm also worried about racer and nancy.
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:7079
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7511.html