Posted by Ruth on June 10, 1999, at 7:20:40
In reply to Re: Really, It's Okay, posted by Phil on June 10, 1999, at 7:03:32
>
> >JennyAnn,No answers, just that I can relate. This past year
has been really strange for me. For a few years
I've been basically happy and grateful taking my
antidepressants, and then this year I've just become
fed up with it. I guess it's because a lot of us
were led to believe, originally, that the purpose
of meds was to take them for awhile, let your brain
learn better habits while you recover with help from
the meds, and then you'd eventually be able to go
off the meds and know how to deal with your depression
better cognitively. Well guess what? For many of
us, it dosen't work that way...the depression
comes back, regardless of what you've learned
through therapy while on medication and so on...
and for me that's been a bitter pill to swallow.
I think just this year I've really started to
realize that I might have to take these meds
for the rest of my life, and I've had a very
hard time accepting it (particularly b/c of the
side effects of the drugs and the sacrifices they
require, sex life...apathy...emotional highs
disappear along with the emotional lows...a certain
intensity just isn't there anymore). And it
makes me angry. And I've spent the last 9 months
in a very fruitless state of mind of "why me?".
Now I'm getting a little tired of this state of
mind, and I'm trying to come to terms, trying to
accept the truth, that I'm depressed, that I want
to be happy and productive, and that it looks like
I might have to take meds to get there...
I'm sure other people with chronic diseases have
the same struggles, and I am just starting to
think of myself in the same boat as someone with
diabetes, or chronic pain....and I'm feeling more
willing to be gentle with myself and not blame
myself, or call myself weak or think that I should
be able to handle it on my own....
I wish you luck, and I understand how you feel, and
I hope you come to your own peace on this issue.
Ruth
poster:Ruth
thread:7227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990601/msgs/7244.html