Posted by Shelley in Seattle on January 19, 1999, at 18:22:23
In reply to Re: Increased mood swings, posted by David K. on January 19, 1999, at 17:18:05
It's kind of funny -- I have to put up a good facade for clients (I work in a clinic, but I'm also a sort of "Jane of all trades" around there. I am a computer geek-ess as well, and since we don't have a CIS person at my clinic, I am the person who does all their tech stuff, which I do enjoy but it's hard for me to concentrate with all the interruptions). Sorry! I guess I am chatty on Celexa too! :-)
Anyway, so I have people asking me stuff all day, and I am usually gracious about it -- I am trying to work on setting boundaries, but it's very difficult to do that where I work.
My co-workers and the FEW friends I haven't alienated (I have been clinically depressed for over 5 years -- to give you an idea of how I've been until very recently, my other email address is misanthropia@antisocial.com. It's true!) know that I have this weird preoccupation with death. My favorite place to be is in a cemetery -- not the boring, nothing-but-rows-of-flat-stones-on-the-ground ones they have here in the northwest! I am talking of those grand places in New Orleans, or the rural cemteries back East that I walked around for hours in until just a few years ago... Also, death is a major theme that presents itself in my art.As for therapy -- I am at a weird place with my therapist right now. I have been going to her 3 times a week for about 5 months now (I saw someone else for a long time before her), and I thought I was making progress and then I realized I was indeed still stuck. Then one day she just totally changed her tone towards me -- this is after she would laugh at my David Sedaris-type family stories with me. She became very cold and withdrawn, and said she didn't want to laugh at my horrible childhood stories anymore. I told her that laughing at it (now, as an adult) is probably the only reason I am not dead today. We are working on it, and it's hard for me to switch therapists. That's why I saw the last one for so long, even though the 'fit' was gone for a long time. Even now, after going 3 times a week for 5 months, she just barely has the whole story. I hate to have to tell it over and over again, so I am hoping we can get over this spot and learn something from it.
Oh, I just remembered that I have some Kava in my cupboard at home -- I think I'll try that for sleep tonight. I get so wound-up on Celexa! Not that I am complaining too hard, after having spent most of the last few months in bed anytime I wasn't working.
Well, I hope you have a good night!
poster:Shelley in Seattle
thread:2503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990501/msgs/2534.html