Posted by Appalled on April 11, 1999, at 16:17:11
In reply to Re: misbehavior, posted by harry on April 10, 1999, at 16:57:05
May I remind you of some of your own postings? (I do believe they were yours...)
>"PRIMUM NON NOCERE"....(above all else..do no harm)
I believe you have done a lot of harm here.
>Being "brought to task" in regards to the effects of one's words and actions is an ESSENTIAL part of GROWING UP.
Nancy has been your staunch defender, and more power to her, but maybe she needs to realize that maybe you are being brought to task so maybe YOU can grow up?
>A great part of "recovery", eg:change and development as a person..is recognizing our OWN selfishness and self-centeredness..
Your proud expression of self, no matter how negative and hurtful, seems pretty selfish to me. I hope you did mean that once we recognize our self-centeredness that is just a starting point and not to be wallowed in.
>All to often..."support" means expressing kindly sweet remarks regardless of the context of anothers writing/actions.
>TRUE LOVE invloves DISCIPLINE.I think "tough love" is the more appropriate phrase. But, remember, the word "love" is still part of the equation. Message boards do not always need to be fluffy and sweet. But, there is nothing wrong with kindness, you can say many meaningful things but still be kind. "Discipline" that takes the form of cruelty and abuse tend not to hit their mark; it is difficult to get the message if you're too busy pulling the dagger out. If this is the kind of discipline you have had and all you know, I am very sorry.
Now, it would be VERY interesting if you purposely posted like this to get us NOT to be sickeningly sweet and accepting! I think you succeeded!
I realize that you have your own baggage, Harry, and I hope you are getting whatever help you need. I hope somewhere along the way that you realize your arguments for why you should be able to say whatever you want, however you want, may not be productive to maintaining relationships.
poster:Appalled
thread:4030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990401/msgs/4701.html