Posted by Nancy on December 13, 1998, at 17:49:29
In reply to Re: ECT and Alan's experiences, posted by Danielle on December 7, 1998, at 18:02:16
> Nancy: It may benefit you to go back and re-read everything you've written since Emma's first posting. At the same time you might want to re-read Janey's original attempt of encouragement. You should be the best judge. I hope you find something to help, it's clear you're feeling pretty miserable.
------------------------------------------------Thank you, for responding to my cry for help, Danielle.
You're right I've been miserable. I have a lot of pain in this stage. The couple of other severe episodes over my lifetime have, also, been treatment refractive. So, why get upset over this one?
Because, I'm terrified that it won't pass like the other times. That it won't go away and let me have my life back.
Furthermore, I can't trust most or all of my perceptions and ideas. Sometimes I know that they're not real, not right. But, only sometimes. Like today, I think things are okay in my head.
But, last night, I was convinced that I should end this hell by overdosing on the 18,000+mgs of Seroquel that I have. It was absolutely the only thing I should do. Then, the antipsychotic that I'd taken an about hour before these thoughts had turned into impulse, kicked in. That's when I knew that I hadn't been thinking right.
I really appreciate you reaching out to me. It means many good things to me.
Now, Hoping For Mind Over Madness,
Nancy
poster:Nancy
thread:1454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19990301/msgs/1552.html