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Re: LOOKIN' FOR YOUR COMPANY RACER

Posted by v on January 3, 1999, at 10:25:20

In reply to Re: LOOKIN' FOR YOUR COMPANY RACER, posted by Dawn on January 3, 1999, at 9:49:50

reading these posts has struck me profoundly... i feel my grief, your grief, our grief

i often wonder what my life could have been like if i were able to function and had been able to live instead of using all my energy to merely survive... and i admit to much anger and bitterness over all those lost years and what i perceive of as a sad waste

right now, i am experiencing relief as i never felt before from a medication... nothing dramatic or drastic... just a void where the incessant pain howls from - like the hole from which it pours out is closed.

it terrifies me to think of a relapse... i always thought that if i could find a medication that really helped, that it would be alright... like "they" always use the analogy of likening medication to having diabetes or some other controllable disease

so this peace is tempered by the terror of knowing i can be reclaimed by a darkness i can't bear or tolerate

there is nothing i can say to lessen anyone's pain... i know that

all i can add is my profound wish for the healing of us all

regards,
v


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