Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1118025

Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

ny times article on placebo

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 14:04:48

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/15/us/politics/placebo-effect-clinical-care.html

I had been wondering / worrying about placebo for quite some time. I found this rather nice NY times article on the issue. I am heartened to learn that other people have been wondering / worrying about this, too.

One thing that doesn't quite add up for me...

They were saying that the power of placebo was the power of belief in placebo. That is to say, people believe (via deception) that they are taking an effective treatment.

They were saying that the power of the placebo effect would then be undermined if people were informed that they were taking a placebo.

But, of course that is not true -- if the people believe in the power of placebo.

You could tell people 'I'm filling these pills with sugar as a placebo' and that could, potentially, have a therapeutic effect.

I wonder a about whether the reason matters.

E.g., if you said 'I'm filling these pills with sugar as a placebo because there is a genuine shortage and we are doing the best we can do' vs 'I'm filling these pills with sugar as placebo because I think I can make a bunch of money off of giving people a very inexpensive treatment'.

I wonder if the first reason would induce a response to treatment (a response to 'try', if you like) whereas the second wouldn't. It might be hard to get compliance with treatment in the second which would confound, I suppose.

But the things could be teased apart.

 

another year of wrongly decided

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:26:54

In reply to ny times article on placebo, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 14:04:48

yet another year of the wrongly decided, in nz. I did inform the courts that they were opening themselves up to / for a class action law suit. All the people who were denied applications to enroll in the public universities of NZ (denied applications to enroll in particular programs) so that the children of the wealthy elite could be handed the public training places (for private advantage) on a silver platter.

second year medicine courses haven't even started yet and already there are newspaper advertisements that a second year medical student will do the work i mean supply the answers i mean take money for helping future cohorts of studnets pay to win on the school tests and the entry to medicine tests etc. our nation so highly values trained and skilled teachers that we put our second year medical students to work collecting up money from future students wanting to buy their way into a degree whereby they can murder and rape and torture with impunity in a land where the courts refuse to uphold the law and where judged define or re-define late as early and before as after and winner-pays as justice and the court of popular opinion or will of the angry mob as the only kind of thing that they understand or will uphold or...

quite the babel-land. this exclusion zone. the government gives 10 million dollars (apparently) of medical research funding to a person who will never develop a workable vaccine. not in his lifetime. that's why they pay him.

and so on.

 

Re: another year of wrongly decided

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:43:02

In reply to another year of wrongly decided, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:26:54

we don't have anything to fear of anyone in nz developing nuclear weapon technology, that's for sure. australia, too. quite the babel-land. on how they select and train their students.

perhaps the lands are culturally rich? artistically?

where are the great works of art, then?

where are the artifacts of culture?

they won't uphold the intellectual property laws. they won't pay their worker-slaves.

you don't need to work to stabogate from without when they treat their own people so badly from within there are no shortage of suicide bombers from within. of course we already know that. nz is quite the breeding ground for them. internationally. it is internationally known that nz is a breeding ground for terrorists and for terrorist activity.

it is because there is no help. the will not pay people to work in the 'helping professions' unless they use their public position for private advantage.

that seems to be the thing of it.

becuase it's sooooooooooooo competitive.

quite the babel land of squabling, bickering, bitching, moaning. constantly. good people cannot function here.

apparently the universities are rethinking their job descriptions of hiring 2 or 3 or 4 people to be the single sole and only spokesperson for a whole field. like this born in south africa lady who goes to england and then nz then gets to pay her way or win her way into new zealander of the year... her name is attached to various pieces that appear in the media. only it doesn't take more than 5 minutes of conversation with her to see that there is no way that she wrote those pieces herself. she's like uncle sam or the president of the united states. the figure-head with the script. picked out for the 'funky and cool and relatable' image... designed to inspire or promote desire in the younger generation. for people to see her and think 'well i could definately do that better than you i mean if you are the best our country has in that field then if i work hard and i'm smart then i should be able to rise to the top'...

but that would be wrong-headed. because we aren't and don't aspire to be a meriticracy.

why would we want satellites? missiles?

internet?

security?

peace?

any of the products or fruits of civilisation...

anyway... the university is saying, now, that it isn't their job to protect their employees who have been given a heavy media presence or coverage... it isn't their job to protect their employees from people who take affront to the things they have been passing them off as saying on the social media platforms etc.

the university was responsible for social-media-ising them? no....

the university was thinking about removing them from office for speaking beyond their expertise? no.... the university redeployed the physics guy from his job of passing the first year bio-physics kids who cheated on their examinations to working in some 'modelling' centre whereby he was going to do epidemiology. because we needed someone who could at least pretend to play along with international best practice on statistics...

just the one. of course.

because all the kids who did the public health degrees that were so highly valued. no, that wasn't it... we valued their ability to convince people to eat what the government told them to eat (fonterra yoghurt with sugar as the second ingredient is 5 star most healthy of all objectively scientifically obviously)...

the level of intellectual disability within the ministries...

apparently the elected minister of everything (state services commission, health, education) has a mother who is high up in the ministry of education. i suppose that means she gets teh lucrative government contracts. it isn't that people give the best of everything to their own kids (at everyone else's expense keeping the nation a babble-land) it is that they give the best of everything to their parents etc still...

until there is no best of anything at all in this babbel-land.

i didn't see the fires in northland with the nasa flyover.

it would be so very very easy for them to plague the land with hurricanes or tornadoes or...

this babbel land.

no rule by law.

nothing. there's nothing here. nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing at all.

early is late didn't you know. iggle de piggledy garbage wahhho. that's rule by law in nz. you should see what they pass of as medicine and healthcare. selling the supplies and so on... what is it? another instiatution of abuse... that's all there appears to be, here. they won't allow for things to be any other way...

they are talkilng about maaori culture in our internatioal trade. but it's about coming to terms with being an exclusion zone. we are the prison camp detention island of the world. why? becuase our leaders insist on exploiting public for their own perceived private advantage.

kings of the rubbish heap!

kings, they say!

first at being last.

winning at losing.

well done. good job. yay you.

we don't have universities. we don't have courts. we don't have any of the products of civilisation. we don't have skilled workers. we don't have workers. keeping slaves. until they smash you in the back of the head so they can steal your stuff. rule by angry mob. nasty bruitish and short.

 

Re: another year of wrongly decided

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:58:42

In reply to Re: another year of wrongly decided, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:43:02

apparently we don't need courts of judiciary because we have this thing called 'the court of popular opinion' otherwise known as rule by angry mob whereby the angry mob decide who is and who is not to be stoned to death on the basis of features or factors that are reality tracking.

you know how it goes...

things like 'old people are stupid' and 'black people are stupid' and 'anyone who isn't my kid is worth less than my kid' and so on...

all of the cognitive biases and heuristics and so on that go unchecked in this retard-land because people are never held to account.

they just go about doing whatever they want whenever they want becuase they want.

Harlene Hayes got some medal, apparently. For how it was that she managed to arrange things around and about the University whereby there was a distinct underclass population of kids where they were destined, really, to be fodder or bait for the people wanting to play doctor in the ER on a Friday or Saturday night. People picked out to be en masse victims of rape or injury or whatever living in residential halls that promote mass consumption of alcohol or student flats that promote people not having locks on their bedroom doors etc... Keeping the kids so cold they are forced to communal sleeping just to survive the winter..

Anyway.. So kids die... By being trampelled in mobs trying to get in or out the door for those parties where the people are huddling trying not to die of the cold in the winter-time... Where people die from balconies collapsing...

Anyway... She gets hailed as mighty leader with honors becuase one of the parents... I don't quite understand... They decided to give the Univesrity a bunch of money for having killed their kid. Something something about setting up a fund in memorial for their kid who was killed by the University for all of the University practices etc etc that they condoned and facilitated etc etc under Harlenes watch.

Now she's off to same old same old the University of Western Australia. It will be warmer over there...

But she managed to prevent and prohibit the developoment of geo- technology. Also science. She sort of killed the humanities and the arts and closed down many quality departments trying to force everyone through the same bottle-neecks. Onward ho to 10+ years of 'apprencice' slavery until the visas expire and people can be deported without their qualification completions. Maybe a little rapey rapey rape on the way out? Or maybe that is Auckland's speciality?

We aren't even trying to get with the programme...

I wonder if the VC of the NZVCC is going to get back to his usual job of blackbirding this year?

We refuse to engage in anything at all to uphold the quality and integrity of NZ University qualifications. We couldnt' be undermining them any faster than we are...

Really. I mean...

How much money does one have to pay to a second year medical student to get them to sign off on your ability to murder and rape and torture with impunity... sell off the medical supplies to overseas -- right? Start giving out 'placebo'?

Are we more corrupt than South Africa?

Apparently yes. People from there take their money and come here to spend it on the various corrupt things they want to get up to.

Mexico, too.

That's how corrupt we are. the prison camp detention camp island of the world.

By teh design of the people picked out to be leaders.

I suppose that is the meritocracy, of sorts.

How you keep the morally depraved as low as they can go.

Do not travel to the exclusion zone. There's nothing here. No so far as I can see...

Where is my Degree for my 1 year of research that I did in 2018? Where is my place in Med? There was a published algorithm for the purposes of accountability in selection. They are not applying their algorithm for the purposes of selection. When this is broguht to their attention they refuse to work to put things right. The courts refuse to uphold the laws. The courts refuse to make them be accountable.

It's quite the destination for all the morally depraved individuals who have been struck off everywhere else in the world.

By design.

 

my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:20:32

In reply to Re: another year of wrongly decided, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 15:58:42

she sent me pathology labs of her blood-work back in Jan or Feb last year.

blood cancer. various translocations, apparently, in the b cells. mantle cell lymphoma was one of the things that was mentioned.

the waikato hospital had their records hacked. they were saying in the media that anyone about to start radiation treatment or anyone on radiation treatment could ask to see a specialist in Tauranga or Auckland or Australia since Waikato could not access their medical records during the hacking event.

I strongly advised her to take full advantage of the opportunity to get a second opinion, at least. to get independent confirmation. another opinion. additional information.

she declined to do so.

i said i would go with her, if she wanted. that i wanted to go with her. that i had questions.

she declined to get the second opinion. she decided to wait until Waikato sorted it's sh*t out. she decided to take my sister (and not me) to her medical appointments at Waikato.

that's her decision.

i don't really understand my mother. we don't have a lot in common in many respects. i find her to be fairly superficial in many respects. enamoured by a pretty face... attracted or swayed by things i don't find relevant. distractors. it's her decision. that's the decision she made.

i did tell her that she should spend her money on medical treatments -- if there is reason to believe the treatments to be effective / to help etc. i mean to say she saved money over years and so spend it on medical treatment if there is reason for that.

she ended up spending more than $2,000 per month for a '-mib' RTK inhibitor made in Bangladesh... It was held up at customs, initially...

After she died I saw how much medication there was all about the house... It got to the point of being impossible to sort out the side-effects from the medication from the initial disease (if any) etc etc.

Anyway... She is dead now.

She became paralysed. Apparently they saw masses on her MRI that made anatomical sense of her paralysis.

They did not show them to me.

But I was not her nominated person. My sister was. My sister who was more amenable to her going into hospice care before (1) assessing the effects of the radiation treatment (which seemed to me to be targeted on her esophagus and jaw rather than her spine) and before (2) a single surgical consult and before (3) a second opinion from hematology oncology.

Like my Father, just decided it was time to curl up and die.

I suppose it was them realising that they didn't have a choice. I would imagine that if she had have tried to get the second opinion they were offering (from Tauranga or Auckland or Australia) then they would have had a million reasons why she wasn't going to get that second opinion. Else, if she did get that second opinion then it would be (maybe as the first one had been) there is only 1 option or 1 treatment which is otherwise known as 'my way or the highway'.

I think maybe she was a little fearful of undergoing a stem cell transplant. I don't know...

I think I read somewhere about some relatively straightforward blood filtering treatment that Waikato has lost it's accreditation on becuase they were killing people rather than helping them with it. If they can't do that then likely they can't do a stem cell transplant.

But I'm sure that people's parents paid so very very very much money for them to get to 'play doctor' for people who don't much want to live. I don't really know what to say.

____

I went down for 1 week and stayed with my sister in my mothers house while my mother was in hospital. I took a back-seat because my sister had power of attorney for financial and health decisions. So I was sort of watching or observing, really, what was going on...

Then I needed to go back to Auckland overnight... And I was going to return the next day...

And a radiation oncology person was going to phone me, apparently, because they were talking about where she was going to go next... Hospice... Or a private place that could provide hospital level care (since she's tetraplegic)... Or... I was thinking about what I could offer (what various people may be able to with home help also) so that she could go back to living in her own home in a way that wasn't a burden... I wanted to know about the changes of her regaining mobility with raditation treatment or surgery... Or if they stopped immobilising her if that was what was going on (that seemed to make the best anatomical sense of the situation to me...)

So a nurse phones me and asks if I can care for her 24/7/365 and that that is what some people have, from 1 person only who care for them.

And I'm thinking the nurse is some combination of lying and / or insane. I mean that's a better assessment of that than 'I read the newspaper every day'. Becuase that's not physically or psychologically plausible. Not for very many days...

I said I had booked a bus back from Auckland to Hamilton 11am the next day.

They then arranged for her to be transferred to hospice before I arrived at the hospital.

___

Informed consent.

____

Yeah, right.

____

On arriving at hospice my Mother expressed genuine fear about the nasal swab. Said it was painful.

They did it anyway. She did not consent. She visibly pulled back and the person administering the test even commented on how she visibly pulled back.

We have antibody testing.

But we always jump to the most invasive.

There's just no comprehension. Wilful miscomprehension.

_____

Terrific.

One day our leaders will get sick and the vultures will swarm /swoop.

It is the world that they made.

___

Hey thanks NZ. Thanks for letting me contribute. Thanks for letting me live up to my potential. Thanks for letting me help NZ develop in genuine and good ways. Thanks for nothing.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:30:01

In reply to my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:20:32

so she's on protease pump inhibitors. i don't know how long she had been on them for. probably quite some time.

when you suddenly stop taking something like that then you get rebound syndrome where you produce more stomach acid then you ever did before.

i don't know why there was a radiation treatment x marks the spot on her esophagus. around where the sphincter is. i don't know why you would give someone radiation treatment to that spot for a mass (apparently) causing tetraplegia.

but i could hear the stomach acid burbling around that spot while she drowned in her stomach acid secretions.

i'm fairly sure that was how she went.

good choosing, new zealand.

well done.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:32:26

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:30:01

i mean the world already knows not to travel into the exclusion zone. the level of treatment that was not able to be provided or supplied in nz to the victims of the white island tragedy.

they took people out to see a volcano and it erupted.

they tried to get them to hospitals. we didn't have skin for transplant. we didn't know how to care for burn victims.

the world had to sent doctors and supplies and so on. becuase there was nothing here.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:45:15

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:32:26

sigh.

i don't know how things are with the health system.

but i do remember how things were with my mother.

she chose not to have a second opinion. she chose to purchase the '-mib' made in Bangladesh.

she chose to not invite me to medical appointments etc etc.

she chose to inform me that she was inviting another sister to them...

i didn't take the bait. what is the bait? it is a dynamic... the kind of dynamic whereby a couple go to a pub and the girl maybe flirts a little or someone maybe flirts a little with the girl and then the guy is required to, expected to, display jealousy -- otherwise he doesn't really care about the girl.

my mother quite likes those kinds of set ups or situations or whatever. many people do, i suppose. i am not a fan of those kinds of things. i don't think they are genuine... i think there are more mature ways of displaying caring etc than by way of jealousy...

i mean to say i did not feel jealous of my sister that my mother was choosing her to take along rather than myself.

but i did and i do vaguely resent that my mother wanted or expected me to react in that way...

i think genuinely what was behind it was that she thought my sister might let her move in with her. she thought she might be able to move in with my sister when she wasn't able to live independently any more. she thought that was more likely than her moving in with me or my moving in with her. so that's why she wanted my sister around. she was hoping my sister would offer or something... rather... my sister actually sold her house and brought another over that time period and then told her that she couldn't live with her in the new house because it was not suitable.

i suppose my Mother took control of the situation as best she could. I think that is the thing of it, really. Things feel out of control... Death. Sickness.

She did not want me to be involved in helpling her. It also made no sense that she wasn't getting up to specialists in Auckland... Except covid, I guess. Travelling into the problem area when she was immunocompromised.

___

I feel like I have processed it considerably better than my Father. Because I spent more time with her closer to the end. I got to grieve with my sister when I first went down and saw how badly she was...

She went away on Christmas around lunch-time. It was quite noticable that she was not herself anymore. There was something pet semetary about the situation. She was irritable etc. I suppose that is a side-effect to be expected etc.

I suppose it gets to the point of systems failure... YOu have to die of something, eventually. She did keep saying she was not in any pain she was not and she didn't want more pain relief.

She was also... During life... Another dynamic that I never understood... When I was saying about staying in hotels and there were cleaners.. ANd she was all like 'LUCKY!!!! they do EVERYTHING for you'. LIke... She would quite like to be a lord with slaves doing everything for her. She was also very up in visiting her friends in hospital. Thinking how lucky they were that the nurses were doing everything for them etc.

Then when she was in hospital scolding people when they weren't as attentive to her as she would like. Having to wait 2 hours between them checking on her (she supposed)...

A sort of 'you give her an inch and she takes a mile'.. Sort of testing...

____

I did feel relief to hear that she passed in the night. 2 days after christmas. I was starting to be very fearful that she might stay as she was (unrecognisably herself) for... 6 months.. more??

____

But it is hard for me to process when I don't have her medical records etc. But that was by her choice. She chose to intentioanlly withhold them from me for her own reasons that probably have more to do with her exerting power / control over what little she could control. Namely.... Me.

Everyone is fond of that. Forcing me. Quite the government pass-time.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:58:57

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:45:15

It is also surprisingly easy for me to remember the good and think well of her. I thought it would bring back a lot of horrible memories... It did to start with. When I thought about going down there, initially. When I thought about going into that house. With so many horrible memories there.

But my sister stayed with me in that house for a few days. And that was... Diffusing. I literally and honestly felt the power of those memories diffuse away.

And my sister... I thought she would be super-organised and super-efficient and so on. Because she is (and always has been) legal administration in some of the biggest / highest powered law firms in the big city... And I found her to be... Dithering. Slow. Bumbling. And also cold. Mean, almost or nearly (towards Mother).

And I don't mean any of that badly -- AT ALL. I mean, it could be that she's the very very best actor in the world. It was exactly what I needed for things to... Diffuse...

I mean... I found my competence. In that context. Whereas I could not have and I would not have if she had have been as efficient and organised as I am sure that she is at work. She did say she was burned out and needed a break from Mother just before she dragged me down there... So it is not a reflection on her at all how she was burned out and needing a break... But the fact that she was like that was diffusing for me. And empowering for me.

In little things... Me seeing little things I could do to genuinely help etc. Because I am the kind of person who likes to hover behind and observe... And learn by observation... And then wait until I see something I can do to genuinely help before I make a movement in that direction. And have some time and space to genuinely develop in ability and capacity and have realistic self-assessment so that I don't take over when someone else is more competent (at that moment) than me...

Things that would be highly valued in any nation or land that was not insane...

Anyway... People got to see various things about me.

Because they are very stereotypical in their thinking and judging of me, I suppose. They assumed I would be anti-touch (I was massaging her to help her circulation). They assumed I would be cold or missing out on verbal cues (I was warm -- but not willing to play certain games)... I was helpful.. When I could be. Because I could be.

Rather than stabotaging or undermining.

I did have questions... ANd I did not have the respect for the registrars that they probably wanted to see. But I was clear... You are registrar on a weekend shift and you can read the file notes but you are not her regular consultant clinician (I didn't even know what kind of registrar she was if she was ED or psychiatry or...)... And when you say 'there isn't anything more we can do' and 'we haven't had a second consultant examine her from hemotology oncology' and 'we haven't had oncology radiation follow up on her response to radiation' and 'we haven't had a surgical consult -- we don't need one because we know what the neurosurgeons, the ortho surgeons, the ENT surgeons and the cardiothoracic surgeons (depending on where the mass actually was) will say.

Wow.

'We don't have to ask them because we know what they will say'.

Wow.

But I think I was kind and firm with the registrar who thought it was her place to deliver bad news on the weekend like that without proper consultation...

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 17:29:43

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:58:57

I mean... I did wonder, at one point, whether she was feigning paralysis.

Because I think she does have this pathology of a kind of infantile fantasy... Of her being a newborn and of other people doing everything for her. Feeding her. Wiping her *rs*. Changing her diaper. Sponge bathing her.

I think she was... Enjoying it.

I do think that.

And I did worry that she was going to remain like that (with the tetraplegia) for many months if not years... I think she might get a kick out of that. With a bell like... The guy on Breaking Bad...

That did occur to me.

Right from the very start she was talking about euthanasia. But it seemed to me to be in the spirit of saying it to see how I (particularly) would react.

There were a couple moments where her being able to move or feel was something that she would have perceived distinctly to be at her own advantage. And in those moments she was able to weakly move her hands... But from muscle in her forearm, I suppose. And she genuinely couldn't seem to feel them.

I suppose they could have given her an eipdural for pain. I don't know. I guess I think if lymph nodes were swelling to place pressure on the spinal cord it would likely be asymmetric rather than perfectly symmetric.

But I suppose it could be the case that the lymph nodes are anterior to the spinal column... And I suppose it could be the case the nodes were similarly swollen on both sides... They did say something about down along her spinal column multiple levels...

It is possible they gave her radiation treatment to buy her another week. Because christmas is important to most people.

She was pretending like she's only been the Christmas grinch very recently due to weakness from her slow-growing cancer.

But everyone in my family knows she's been the Christmas grinch since forever.

My sister is very very big on... Ritual? Normality. She's a f*ck*ng normal person. Things like birthdays and Christmas are important special occasions to her and she makes a real effort. From when I was little she made a special effort and always invited Mum. And Mum would go sometimes -- and everyone would go out of their way to make her feel happy and comfortable. And then she would choose not to go. And that hurt my sister.

Then, when my sister got married to her second husband (her first died of cancer very young) my Mother did not go to the wedding. And my sister was very clear with Mum about how important it was to her for my Mother to go to the wedding and so very important to her new husband for him to feel warmly welcomed as part of the family. And Mother did not go. And my sister never forgave her for that. Mum wanted to see photos of the even and my sister refused to show her them. She says she really really needed Mum on that day. And Mum had no reason not to go. Just that she didn't feel like it. It was too much effort for her to bus up or whatever... Even when my sister was prepared to go well out of her way to look after her once she arrived up there...

And so it was pretty sad that Mother is spending Christmas day in hospice. And one friend visited her. And I stayed with her... But she seemed very very disappointed that nobody else visited her that day. That my sister did not arrange for everyone to go to hospice and be with Mother rather than having the usual thing that she does at her place.

But Mother has been the Christmas grinch since forever. My sister said that it would really really hurt her that Mother would make such a big big deal of spending so much of Christmas day all by herself (in a way that was chastising of us for not spending it with her in her house -- when she did not offer to throw anything)...

And then spending it with relative strangers at church etc.

---

Anyway...

___

I feel I did what could reasonably be expected of me. The 'good daughter'. I think she did drown in her stomach bile. But I also suppose... It is fitting in it's own way. That it was what she wanted, on some level. And she had people wiping her *rs* and spoon feeding her etc etc etc for however many days.

Sigh.

The heart will want what the heart wants, I suppose.

______

I was feeling badly that I posted this stuff to a website saying about how helping doesn't make sense in highly competitive environments. About how it seems that the older generation needs to die so that the younger generation might or may live.

When I was an honors student I remember the Philosophy people saying (fairly honestly) on multiple occasions about how there was an entire older generation of philosophy people, in NZ, who would need to die, basically, before the likes of me would get a job, in NZ.

And I was thinking about senior people at NZ Universisties more generally, now, I suppose. Seeing that they won't sign their PhD students off unless / until they have forced them to work in excess of time (so overseas thinks they're retarded) or whatever... Not signing them off at all. Not processing their work. Not allowing people with the capacity to do anything. Not espousing academic values.

I was thinking about how the ruling elite in this country all seem to need to die so that I can have meaningful employment. They really seem determined to incapacittate and disable me, I don't really see how there is anyway forwards for me while they are still alive...

I was not thinking of my Mother as being a source of competition for me. Or as being a reason why I must be kept disabled and incapacitated.

But maybe she was.

Anyway... I certainly did not intend or mean to incite anybody to violence or anything like that. Again, I was reporting what various people had actually said to me about what would need to be teh case before I would be allowed to do anything at all in NZ.

She had all this money... What she would not do with it was transfer any of it to us in her lifetime.

I suppose I look at tying it up in investments overseas. I have seen no indication that NZ is willing or able to play by any of the most basic of rules... NOt rule by law. Would be insane to invest in people who have given no indication of integrity etc...

I met an uncle more recently... And my other sister... They have more florid communication problems and psych issues in the sense of being very reactive and potentially violent (flying off the handle).

But they are not me.

I don't know why our leaders are unwilling / unable to engage in genuine merit based assessment. Oh yeah I do: Corruption. Take what you can for as long as you can because you can helping me helpling me helping me help myself to you...

__

I did not like the look of the registrars because they were so obviously so very concerned about their look.

Stethescope around the neck... But she didn't appear willing or able to actually use it to assess any of the basic signs. It was just an accessory...

I'm sure she felt super-important being the only doc on the ward on a Sunday.

Sigh.

Telling me that the entire team had decided there was nothing they could / would do.

Without a second opinion. Without a surgical consult. Without radiation oncology assessing the radiation treatment they delivered 2 days prior.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by beckett2 on January 5, 2022, at 17:34:48

In reply to my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 16:20:32

I'm very sorry, Alex.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 17:43:13

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 17:29:43

Anyway... It is complicated. Of course. Like... The map of the land that was so accurate you couldn't unroll it for fear of upsetting the farmers.

I do feel that I got sufficient time and... Help. Yeah. Help from my sisters and my uncle and help from the various nurses and doctors and hospice people...

To process and to grieve.

Yeah.

I really did not deal at all well with my Father's death. I suppose because I was isolated from support, really, once I left NZ. And I left NZ too soon to come to terms with the fact that he was dying... And then when I was back in the USA the thing about them expecting me to be teaching about euthanasia and grading essays the day of the funeral...

I wasn't capable of being objective in grading essays on that topic on that day...

That was the thing of it, really. And it seemed disrespectful to my Father for me to be in a rational headspace about something... Esoteric... It seemed... Inhumane... It seemed... Not in the spirit of Kant at all, for me to be grappling with understanding Kant or interpretations of Kant on that day.

Anyway...

The NY Times says that the author of ''The Bone People'' died.. At the young age of 74. The elite white minority who are paid to be literary authors and literary critics did not like her writing because they judged her (part Maaori) to not be Maaori enough or not be authentic with her Maaori or whatever. As they do. They get paid. Not her. They grubbity grub grub up all the money and after she's been working on her 'apprentice work' (LMFAO) for 17 years they garbage garbage rubbish rubbish it. To justify why they grubbity grub grub up all the money and titles and esteem and power and privalede for them and their in-group of inbred monkeys.

It appears to be the Kiwi way.

 

Re: my mother died beckett2

Posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 17:44:51

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by beckett2 on January 5, 2022, at 17:34:48

thankyou

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by beckett2 on January 5, 2022, at 19:22:59

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by alexandra_k on January 5, 2022, at 17:43:13

I'm not familiar with The Bone People. Did she write the one novel? (I looked her up and didn't see another.)

I didn't properly grieve my mother, at least the way she deserved. My father, I was able to. Grief is an odd bird.

 

Re: my mother died beckett2

Posted by alexandra_k on January 6, 2022, at 10:06:37

In reply to Re: my mother died, posted by beckett2 on January 5, 2022, at 19:22:59

> I'm not familiar with The Bone People. Did she write the one novel? (I looked her up and didn't see another.)

I never read the book. I just saw the NY Times article saying she died at age 74. The article said that the novel was not well received in NZ and also said that none of her subsequent writing has been published.

People don't do well, in NZ. They have to leave, for that. Flight of the Concords had to go to NY to succeed. Lorde had to go to the US to succeed. Etc. They didn't have a chance in NZ because there are a small group of people in NZ who claim up all the money and the titles and the power and the credit for 'comedy' or 'music' or whatever and they wouldn't share with them. Wouldn't pay them, wouldn't give them air-time etc. Not because they thought they were crap -- but because they showed up how crap the ones claiming up all the money etc etc really were... In other words, they weren't allowed to perform in NZ precisely because they had genuine merit.

They teach the Bone People in Secondary School, I believe. Now that she is dead and they don't have to pay her they will likely come around to her as the idea/l of a national hero. That is to say someone who lived in abject poverty and died early. To motivate and inspire future generations of artists in NZ.

Because we are all about the people the people the people (the keeping of slaves).

> I didn't properly grieve my mother, at least the way she deserved. My father, I was able to. Grief is an odd bird.

I guess it is. I wonder if it was timing? Did your Mother go first? Maybe the first of the parental deaths is the hardest... Perhaps. Just a thought. Then, with the second, you have the benefit of previous experience so have a better handle on 'doing it right' (in some sense). I don't know.

 

Re: my mother died

Posted by alexandra_k on January 6, 2022, at 10:12:07

In reply to Re: my mother died beckett2, posted by alexandra_k on January 6, 2022, at 10:06:37

Apparently it is something to do with Arts funding and money laundering. Art is one of those things... You create value. It's subjective. How much a work is worth depends on how much people will pay for it. You don't need to write up bribe or facilitation or exit payments or whatever as those things -- you can purchase works of Art.

So, for example, if one half of a partner in crime kind of a partnership is doing dodgey dealing and the other half is creative in some way then the money can be laundered in for services rendered via the other half.

That makes sense of why it is that some work has such high value / that so much money was paid for the work. In some way... By anonomous buyers or whatever. Or in the form of art scholarships and the like. Continuing positions, even. Government contracts. Etc.

Art is something that people who have already made it (financially) do in their retirement. Every Medically trained person who doesn't work with patients anymore can be a politician (and write law) or an artist. Right? Collect up those lucrative government grants. Do what they want when they want because they want. Beyond the laws. Ahead of the laws. You get the idea.

Rule by law in a private language kind of a nonsense babel-land...


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