Psycho-Babble Faith Thread 576578

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by mr. matt87 on November 7, 2005, at 22:01:43

I just got hit with reality, i had so much faith, it hurt so much, when i found out that all of it was wasted.

I cant belive this, it really hurts, but you have to accept it. I trust God because of my struggles and to find that he just let faith blew away I am crying right now.

I belived it would happen, I knew i though I heard his voice, and I found it only to be a mirrage. I thought I had stablity with him, I think its begining to rain.

I tell God, the holy spirit my fears, and please let it be ok. Only to find that absolutly been dropped. I fallen hard, it hurts that it was only a mirrage that was in my mind. You know... i cant

It hurts a little to know that faith has been shattered. But accept what has happened

I need to break off.

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? mr. matt87

Posted by allisonross on November 8, 2005, at 5:18:21

In reply to What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by mr. matt87 on November 7, 2005, at 22:01:43

> Dear Matt: I am so sorry. Can you tell me what happened?

I just got hit with reality, i had so much faith, it hurt so much, when i found out that all of it was wasted.

Why do you think this?
>
> I cant belive this, it really hurts, but you have to accept it. I trust God because of my struggles and to find that he just let faith blew away I am crying right now.

I am so sorry.
>
> I belived it would happen, I knew i though I heard his voice, and I found it only to be a mirrage. I thought I had stablity with him, I think its begining to rain.
>
> I tell God, the holy spirit my fears, and please let it be ok. Only to find that absolutly been dropped. I fallen hard, it hurts that it was only a mirrage that was in my mind. You know... i cant
>
> It hurts a little to know that faith has been shattered. But accept what has happened
>
> I need to break off.

I have a website: www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com, perhaps there is something in there which will help.

I was voted out of a 31-year church membership (my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...beause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.

If you read my thread: I Bet You Never Heard a Story Like this, you can read what happened.

To be betrayed by a whole church is a wound which can never fully heal; it has been 3 years; so now I am alone for the 1st time in 31 years; trying to heal from divorce, abuse and the abuse of a church. I never lost my faith, because I knew it was blind, misguided people doing this to me.

My love and thoughts and prayers are with you, Matt. Love, Ally

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by Tamar on November 8, 2005, at 8:36:01

In reply to What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by mr. matt87 on November 7, 2005, at 22:01:43

(((((Matt)))))

What happened? Can you talk about it?

It's hard to find reconciliation if you feel God has abandoned you. But I think (I hope) it is possible.

Faith can be a challenge. Sometimes we need to work at it. I've heard that praying can help, even if it doesn't feel like it's helping... And sometimes it's hard to pray. But maybe... maybe it can help a little.

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by lynn971 on November 8, 2005, at 20:03:46

In reply to What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by mr. matt87 on November 7, 2005, at 22:01:43

Matt, what is going on?

I remember when I had just had another miscarraige and the house that I wanted fell through the cracks. I was so angry with God. My prayer went something like this, "God, I do what you want me to do, I sacrifice to do what is right and I cant have my baby and now I cant have my house." That is when I went outside and drank one burben and coke after another. I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked one after another. I had quit smoking for 7 years prior to that and I did not drink at all.


God is faithful though. My baby girl came at the perfect time in life. In fact I believe her birth gave my mom a reason to live. She had become suicidal after the lady who raised her died.

Well the house that I wanted was a cabin in the woods (how depressing) Well we would of had to move because my little girl is allergic to all those pine trees. She broke out in a bad rash when we went camping near by. God is faithful.

He is the only thing in this world that is stable.

Love ya,
Lynn

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by Gee on November 8, 2005, at 21:26:07

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by lynn971 on November 8, 2005, at 20:03:46

Matt you okay? What's going on??

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by mama141 on November 10, 2005, at 20:21:08

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by Gee on November 8, 2005, at 21:26:07

> Matt you okay? What's going on??


THings seem tough right now, but no matter what God is still there -- He uses EVERYTHING to His glory and to help us grow. I am praying for you..Mama

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?

Posted by rayww on November 11, 2005, at 10:39:32

In reply to What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by mr. matt87 on November 7, 2005, at 22:01:43

Matt, the mind is capable of some pretty wierd things, not all of which are real. A friend of mine saw fire and knew she could see it in the hospital room. She prayed to God it would change, and suddenly she saw flowers and little bunnies instead. It was only real to her, but she couldn't stop it. God can work around your physical or mental infirmities, and will. Don't lose hope or faith. In my stroke I have noticed a change. I can't think of words to pray very easily, nor can I get as in tune with the holy spirit as I once could. It is still there, but the damage done to my brain has blocked something. I haven't lost faith or hope. I know it is still there, and you can too.

> I just got hit with reality, i had so much faith, it hurt so much, when i found out that all of it was wasted.
>
> I cant belive this, it really hurts, but you have to accept it. I trust God because of my struggles and to find that he just let faith blew away I am crying right now.
>
> I belived it would happen, I knew i though I heard his voice, and I found it only to be a mirrage. I thought I had stablity with him, I think its begining to rain.
>
> I tell God, the holy spirit my fears, and please let it be ok. Only to find that absolutly been dropped. I fallen hard, it hurts that it was only a mirrage that was in my mind. You know... i cant
>
> It hurts a little to know that faith has been shattered. But accept what has happened
>
> I need to break off.

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? allisonross

Posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 11:18:29

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? mr. matt87, posted by allisonross on November 8, 2005, at 5:18:21

Ally,

You wrote:

"I was voted out of a 31-year church membership (my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...beause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.

If you read my thread: I Bet You Never Heard a Story Like this, you can read what happened."

Absolutely heartbreaking! Few things hurt worse than to be "crucified" by fellow believers...

Something eerily similar happened to me (what? is there a script these folks follow or something?). I, too, suffered at the hands of those I was in fellowship with. And the journey of healing has been almost as painful as the original offense...!

I was recently led to a book that I, in turn, recommend to you: Gene Edwards wrote it (fabulous, gifted author, who writes in almost parable form): "Exquisite Agony": When Christians Hurt Other Christians.

It's NOT anything you'd expect... but it's about seeing the trauma through God's perspective -- necessary, I've come to believe, for true healing.

May you be blessed...

Shalom, Dena

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? rayww

Posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 11:27:23

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart?, posted by rayww on November 11, 2005, at 10:39:32

Matt -

What Rayww spoke is true (Hiya, Rayww!).

Our minds are capable of some pretty deceptive stuff... but He never lies (the enemy lies all the time).

Cry out to Him -- with no pre-conceived ideas of how He'll show up, or what He'll say/do. Trust HIM, and not your fallible perception of Him.

And, remember, bad things happen to us... He's in charge - and he causes or allows all things (read Job in the Bible). Bad things happened to Jesus (who had to learn obedience through His suffering -- so how can we even THINK we'll escape suffering in this life?!?), bad things happened to Paul, to all of the Apostles... bad things happened to the early Christians. Bad things happen to Christians (& others) all over the planet.

But God can, and does use ALL of what happens to us for our good -- IF we let Him. IF we want to see them through His perspective.

The other choice? To become bitter and hard... to turn against Him, and others who hurt us.

It's a GOOD thing that your faith in your own mind, in your own perspective, in trusting yourself -- has been shattered. It's a blessing-in-disguise, because now you have an opportunity to embrace Him, as He is, in your pain, & let Him have His way with you...

Yeah, it hurts. But it's good.

Shalom, Dena

 

Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? Dena

Posted by allisonross on November 11, 2005, at 12:40:23

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? allisonross, posted by Dena on November 11, 2005, at 11:18:29

> Dearest Dena (love your name)Ally,
>
> You wrote:
>
> "I was voted out of a 31-year church membership (my name put up on a big screen, followed by the words: CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD...beause I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse.
>
> If you read my thread: I Bet You Never Heard a Story Like this, you can read what happened."
>
> Absolutely heartbreaking! Few things hurt worse than to be "crucified" by fellow believers...
>
> Something eerily similar happened to me (what? is there a script these folks follow or something?).

probably!

I, too, suffered at the hands of those I was in fellowship with. And the journey of healing has been almost as painful as the original offense...!

It's been 3 years, and I still have nightmares. But, fortunately i am SO resilient; seems nuthing gets me down (much, LOL); childhood of abuse, 31 years of abusive marriage, followed by spiritual abuse!
>
> I was recently led to a book that I, in turn, recommend to you: Gene Edwards wrote it (fabulous, gifted author, who writes in almost parable form): "Exquisite Agony": When Christians Hurt Other Christians.

Guess what! I read it! I copied tons of what he said; I have a 4 drawer filing cabinet FULL of books and information from the internet on spiritual abuse. There is another great website: www.wings2Fly.com.......it's about women who have been hurt in a church.

The moderator wrote to me, and said she was SO prooud of me for standing up and not letting the church re-abuse me, and then she surprised me, and said "what you did was so kick-a**!! Well, then I love it, cause I love authentic people!
>
> It's NOT anything you'd expect... but it's about seeing the trauma through God's perspective -- necessary, I've come to believe, for true healing.

Couple other excellent books:

When Bad Christians Happen to Good people by dave Burchett (he may use some of my poems in his next book); I can guarantee---

you will be laughing out loud on nearly every page. He signed my guestbook , also.

The other one: Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli (I spoke to him on the phone, and what an authentic (one of my favorite words) man he was (he was killed last year)..

.when i told him what the deacons asked me (are you still having sex with your ex)....he said i should have asked them: "are you still master******?!

Again, I was shocked, having just met him, but then I cracked up; my therapist roared; he said that was a "classic."
>
> May you be blessed...

Thankyou, sweetie! It is angels like you, who bless me

P.S. Did you read my website (www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com)?

What makes the church debacle so ironic, is how I grew up, and that ucky marriage thing: LOL!

I was also published in an on-line journal: www.psychiatricjournal.com, entitled; The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse>

> Shalom, Dena

Blessings to you, also, Dena!

Hugs n grins, Ally

 

Redirect: suffered

Posted by Dr. Bob on November 12, 2005, at 2:36:27

In reply to Re: What do you do when Christ breaks your heart? Dena, posted by allisonross on November 11, 2005, at 12:40:23

> I, too, suffered at the hands of those I was in fellowship with...

Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding suffering like that to Psycho-Babble Social. Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/577965.html

Thanks,

Bob


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