Psycho-Babble Faith Thread 448988

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Re: Lou's response to not2late4u-thstypofsuprt Lou Pilder

Posted by corafree on January 28, 2005, at 10:04:52

In reply to Lou's response to not2late4u-thstypofsuprt not2late4u, posted by Lou Pilder on January 28, 2005, at 8:33:12

I'm confused, but that's not unusual!

I had been following a discussion re: Effexor-XR; but shared the anxiety I was feeling about the onset of the first anniversary of my father's death being a few days away.

I was redirected to post on grief, I think. I posted there, and then to Faith, because I think the best support right now is theological, spiritual support. A lot of sadness coming to the surface about 'that day.' cf

 

Re: Has anyone had success on Effexor corafree

Posted by not2late4u on January 29, 2005, at 0:08:02

In reply to Re: Has anyone had success on Effexor not2late4u, posted by corafree on January 28, 2005, at 1:18:56

CF, I think I'd like to start by asking you if your father believed in Jesus as our Lord and Saviour? If you dont know, thats ok. God knows if your dad believed. Jesus did grieve the loss of his dear friend, so I hope it helps you to know that Jesus knows and understands what you are feeling and that its not easy. I dont know how long its been since your dad passed away. The bible does say that there are seasons, and it sounds like you've been in a season of grief, reasonably so. There's also a scripture that comes to mind, one that helped me and that I am reminded of from time to time, Psalms 23. Notice that in Pslams 23:4, it says I "walk" through the valley. So, walk through your pain and grief with the Lords help, draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. He will comfort you if you ask Him to. Sometimes it may not "feel" like he is, but know that when you ask in Jesus name and it's a Godly thing you are asking, He will do it. And sometimes we dont recognize that He was there all along, until we have moved far away enough from the painful situation to see it. But then again, sometimes you do "feel" it. God knows what we need and when we need it. Just be sure to ask and be open to receive it, even if it takes a long time to get it. I could talk for ever here. I do 100% understand about it being hard to have faith with pain and anxiety, totally. I'd aks where's my healing? I've done this and that and, and, and. Well, the truth for me was that God wanted me to walk through some things to heal me in a different way, through time and counting on His help. To prepare me for whatevers next. He will not gives us anything that we can not handle.
Who has your back? Your heavenly father does and always has. He wants you to lean on him now, the more you get to know Him, the more you will trust Him. I hope I helped, I dont know if I have, but I hope so. God Bless, Renee.

 

Re: Lou's response to not2late4u-thstypofsuprt

Posted by not2late4u on January 29, 2005, at 0:11:08

In reply to Lou's response to not2late4u-thstypofsuprt not2late4u, posted by Lou Pilder on January 28, 2005, at 8:33:12

Lou, we were posting on a different site, I think CF posted a reply to answer your question. I didnt want to offend anyone on the thread that wasnt Faith related. Bob redirected to here. Thx, Renee

 

Lou's reply to not2late4u-redretd not2late4u

Posted by Lou Pilder on January 29, 2005, at 7:03:03

In reply to Re: Lou's response to not2late4u-thstypofsuprt, posted by not2late4u on January 29, 2005, at 0:11:08

not2late4u,
You wrote,[...postng on a different site...Faith related...did not want to offend...redirected...].
Does this have something to do with psychotropic drugs? If so, is it about taking them or about discontinuing them?
Lou

 

Re: Lou's reply to not2late4u-redretd Lou Pilder

Posted by not2late4u on January 29, 2005, at 21:27:28

In reply to Lou's reply to not2late4u-redretd not2late4u, posted by Lou Pilder on January 29, 2005, at 7:03:03

Hhi Lou, Im not opposed to someone getting medical help. CF was hurting and seeking help outside of what she was already doing. I was offering help through the comfort God can provide. Renee

 

1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR not2late4u

Posted by corafree on January 29, 2005, at 22:42:00

In reply to Re: Has anyone had success on Effexor corafree, posted by not2late4u on January 29, 2005, at 0:08:02

I have tried to commit suicide more than a few times since early 20s, but don't think I've ever gone this long, a year, w/o attempting or at least seeking hospitalization.

Hey, I wonder if I really am strong? People say it, but I think they're just 'ya know' saying it!

I wonder if I am at least strong enough to let someone else lead the way; the Lord and his son, Jesus Christ.

He knew how I screamed and fought like a child w/ arms outstretched, crying 'daddy, daddy, daddy, please don't go, please don't leave me alone here!

Right this moment, I realize he must be quite proud of me for making it this far, and simply sitting her and sharing goodness about life, and for living as best I could though this, prob' most heavy load of my life, I pray, this test of faith.

After I read your post Renee, I realized I would like to talk about this and not just go on and on about how I feel I've failed him, but rather, give myself a pat on the back for doing/living the best I could w/o him for a whole year.

Every morning my first thought is him; every eve wrapped in the blanket/throw he covered himself w/ on the easy chair back in our home. I stand up, wrap it around me, then sort of fall into bed with my arms free for the night's last cig and for my meds.

'Somewhere out there', that song, is my daughter, such an empathetic, but yet not allowing her to jeodpardizing herself, trying to fill the void in me. And, my brother finally spoke to me. I asked him if 'he had my back' and he was like, oh year, always! My one daughter, my youngest sister, and the Lord have held me up, as I've prayed every night for myself and for them.

And then, I find this site. It helped me get through this year. All of you letting me join in, even when I must have sounded like a broken record or just a bystander, was also a very useful tool for me.

My father, walking w/ him, made me feel like I was center stage. Not a man of possessions. He was a dreamer, a person of connection, heart connections w/ anyone that came his way, open and accepting. He never judged me. At my worst, he was at his best. He had long beautiful gray hair; a kindredship w/ American Indian. His work involved programs, studies, and ways of betterment to the lives of Native Americans. That is just one thing about him that made me proud to be his daughter. There were every day things, laughter, laughter at himself. A man who wasn't afraid to be a bit 'out there.' I am nearly 100% sure that he and I were soulmates, or knew each other in another life.

Knowing that things would be difficult in the hospital, that final day, and hwo hard it would be for him and I to speak, to struggle for one last breath, I spoke w/ him about 'us' before that day/time.

I don't know about you all, but sometimes don't we surprise ourselves if we really tell ourselves the truth. Hey, I'm gonna' do that. Well, I think I'm doing it right now. Oh, I'm still crying and aching deeply for his presence, but, I feel God, his son Jesus, and my father, George, would be very proud of me. I didn't start drinking or doing drugs. I didn't try leave the earth to 'go be with Dad.' I kept on keepin' on

That is what I have learned in this first year w/o him. I am strong, maybe not as strong as some, but strong enough for my beloved father and the lord and his son to be satisfied with me.

Being in DBT during this time, learning to handle stress through use of skills, deserves some credit too. Those skills have come in very handy. Proper eating, caring for self, getting to appts, taking care of my own responsibilities, taking a vacation from everything (even if just in your head), feeling the 'moment', not being too harsh on myself, redirecting my thoughts, and acceptance of course, are some of the skills.

This site, you all, deserve a lot of credit also for the kindness shown me, even when I'm making no sense or 'not meaning to, but wasting you time.

I don't go to a bldg each Sunday to gather w/ other people; don't know Renee, but maybe some day I'll do that? No more Latin speaking tho' ... I need good old-fashioned 'talk about living today' skills from the top!

I'm doing fairly good; am sure Dad wants me to remain here and care for his grandchildren, and their children.

Renee, where is he .. my dad? I didn't know what to tell my little sister, when she cried me one day on her way to work, because I'm skeptical. Biggest prob' - yep, skepticism. Where do you believe, where are you sure he is Renee? Radical acceptance ... whoa, I'm not trusting those horses to get me home without the reigns!

How do people just 'accept' and 'believe' w/o question? That's my fleeting thought each day. Maybe it cannot be done? How, or do, you do it?

When I tell God, Jesus, Dad, I believe; they know as well as I that I'm not quite there. But the more I say it the moe I beliee it?!

Anything you can offer which might put me on that path would be appreciated.

I hope you're having a good weekend Renee, cf

 

Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR corafree

Posted by not2late4u on January 30, 2005, at 14:31:01

In reply to 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR not2late4u, posted by corafree on January 29, 2005, at 22:42:00

CF, You should feel good about yourself for the progress you've made. God is not disappointed in you, neither is your dad, Im sure for all the reasons you listed. But also, my belief is that God loves us no matter what. He may hate the sin, just like christians should, but not the sinner. God wants to hold you and hold your hand and has been throughout this process. Here's my best answer, not knowing all circumstances to your question about where your Dad, George, is. It is my belief based on my understanding of the bible, that those who believe in God, upon their death, go to be with the Lord. They are NOT spiritually separated from Him. The physical body is in the ground or whatever choice was made, ie...cremation etc. But I know that if your dad was a believer, he is with the Lord in heaven. It says, I think in the book of Matthew, that Jesus went to prepare a place for us. So, those who have already died, are there, in that glorious mansion that Jesus has prepared. Your dad is happy there, he feels no pain or grief. He feels the peace that we can only know once we get there too! I dont believe that your dad just doesnt exist. he exists in heaven with Jesus and our father God. I dont believe your dad is in limbo somewhere between earth and heaven, lost. It sounds like to be that God has been answering your prayers and helping you, he must be preparing you now to help someone else later in life. God will turn all those bad/ evil things to our good. He will talk a horrible tradegy (that He didnt cause, but allowed to happen) and He will see that good will come from it for someone or many. Some day I may need to call on you for your suppport since I havent lost my parents yet. I can only really say I've grieved for the loss of cats (which I know some would look down upon) but God knows I have a sensitive heart for animals and they become such a huge part of my life. I dont have any children, so they are my children. I did lose a friend to suicide many years ago, but I was young and partying so never really grieved a healthy greive for him. Any my grandma, wasnt that close to her, but sometimes I think I see my friend or grandma or people who sure remind me of them. Thats a trip. Anger was my biggest thing with my friend who committed suicide. I tried it once, not because I wanted to die, but because I wanted to escape what was going on at that time in my life. Glad it didnt work, because that part of my life is LONG gone! And I would have caused alot of family alot of pain. HOpe that doesnt upset you CF, thats just my perspective. One more thing, it sounds like your dad was a great man! sounds like he gave alot and touched alot of people. keep Loving him and if you think you were also idolizing him. try to replace that, because God is the only one that belongs on that pedistal. :) You're not alone, I'll try to find a letter that a christian friend wrote to me, inspired by God, I think it will help you too. Godly love, Renee

 

Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR

Posted by corafree on January 30, 2005, at 15:39:32

In reply to Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR corafree, posted by not2late4u on January 30, 2005, at 14:31:01

I thought maybe my Dad would be like a go-between, between God and I, the way he was a go-between between people and I. I had no many bad relationships and my father, just knowing he was here, kept me from hurting myself as result of a breakup.

The times that I did try commit suicide are hard to describe. They didn't occur when someone left me. They occured when I kept a hold of too much pain and it/I sank deep into my chest; referred to as a black hole w/o any light/hope to see. Couldn't see or think, until just before I would begon passing out; I thought of my children. I am selfish. I hate behaving like a child that way; I rationalize really well.

Some people have told me I am selfish; I must rationalize it away w/o even knowing what I'm doing, because I can never say, honestly, 'oh, yes, that was or is selfish of me.'

When did you first feel SURE about God's heaven? Did you go to church or a church school? Have you read the bible? I cannot read well now with memory and concentration probs'. TY {Renee}} cf

 

Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR corafree

Posted by not2late4u on January 30, 2005, at 17:27:48

In reply to Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR, posted by corafree on January 30, 2005, at 15:39:32

cf, You're go between you and God is Jesus. We cant get to God without Jesus. Your dad was just as human as the rest of us. Some of us act or do better things than others do. God doesnt love them anyless or more. Selfishness, I think the majority if not all of us are selfish. Some more than others. And I personally think that someone can be selfish in one area and be totally giving in another.
I didnt grow up in a family that went to church or a "religous" family. I heard of Him throughout my years. I even accepted Him when I was in the 6 or 7th grade. Thats when I was a preteen and well, must I say, God was with me through all my bad ways, because I am still alive. I had two physically/mentally/emotionally abusive boyfriends, 1 was also sexually abusive. I became a true/real christian in 1998. Thats when I attended church, became a member of it, went to classes to learn, they call them disciplship courses. Since 1998, had a REAL desire to earn a degree in the bible. But other things always got in the way. Satan has managed to side track me for quite some time with anxiety and a couple of other issues. Priorites too. Eventhough I have been able to touch others during this time and others have been able to minister to me. So, Satan is not the winner here, he is the loser, because I dont give up hope. I do read the bible, my church teaches from the bible, which is how it should be. My church teaches us how to live today. There are cd's or tapes you can buy that are the entire bible, so if reading is difficult, you can listen. Also, I watch some pastors on TV, which you need to be careful of who you watch. There are times when I dont go to church, out of laziness or whatever. So, I am far from what the world might perceive as the "perfect" christian. I dont think one exists. But, when I have had doubts, a pastor of my church said, this: ask yourself this question, "would you knowing what you know now, walk away from God?". IF the answer is no, then you know that God is in you and you are in God (which is scriptural) Gods heaven, well that is my Hope, that what He says in the bible is true. I dont have actual proof that heaven exists, but what I do have proof of, are the personal experiences I have had with God and over time getting to know who He is and trusting Him. If He says one thing is true, then everything He says as to be true, because the bible says, He is not a liar. Satan is the liar, he is the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. God comes to give peace, life now on earth and etnerally, joy and to have a personal relationship with Him, among other things. Do I ever "fear" that there isnt a heaven or eternal life? ya, sometimes. But I also know that the opposite of fear is faith. Its a growing thing. But I have also read and sutdied things on faith, fear, health etc, this is what faith comes by hearing the word over and over and over. Sorry so long......Renee

 

Re: please rephrase that not2late4u

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 2:16:06

In reply to Re: 1st anniversary of Dad's death - MADE IT THIS FAR corafree, posted by not2late4u on January 30, 2005, at 17:27:48

> We cant get to God without Jesus.

Sorry, but could you please rephrase that? I'm afraid others with different beliefs might think you're referring to them... Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob

Posted by not2late4u on February 2, 2005, at 23:50:07

In reply to Re: please rephrase that not2late4u, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 2:16:06

It is my belief that the only way to God is through Jesus Christ. Bob, I couldnt think of any other way to put it without discounting my personal belief, so I hope this is ok. Renee

 

Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy not2late4u

Posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 9:17:27

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob, posted by not2late4u on February 2, 2005, at 23:50:07

not2late4u,
You wrote,[...I hope this is OK...].
Well, the past practice here could offere a determination of that. The phase,[...people of my faith believe ...] could or could not make the post acceptable here. But I have expressed here that the phrase does not. For Dr. Hsiung has in his opening page of the faith board that some foundations of a faith are not acceptable to be posted here. As to if someone believes it or not, I think that it could not matter.
In looking at your post, I think that,IMO, a way to write it could be something like:
[...I believe that {I} have to go through Jesus Christ to get to the Father...].
or, and this may not be correct,
[...I believe that if you become a christian that you have to go through Jesus Christ to get to God but others that do not become a christian can get to God without going through Jesus Christ...]
or
other good expressions that do not exclude those that do not believe that one must go through Jesus Christ to get to the Father
Lou

 

Re: Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy Lou Pilder

Posted by rayww on February 3, 2005, at 10:36:12

In reply to Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy not2late4u, posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 9:17:27

No matter what Lou, the discussion will always revert back to the basic of all basic questions: "who is God?". No matter who you discuss religion with it always gets back to the nature of God, so why not just accept that each person in his or her own understanding should have the freedom to talk about their own particular belief about God. The truth of the matter is, the most peculiar belief about God may well be the only true one, so look for the peculiar belief, rather than the common one, because the common belief is nothing more or less than a compromise between all religious beliefs of God. That's my view anyway.

 

Lou's reply to rayww-fredowngd rayww

Posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 11:09:54

In reply to Re: Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy Lou Pilder, posted by rayww on February 3, 2005, at 10:36:12

rayww,
You wrote,[....why not just accept...freedom to talk about their own...God...].
The aspect of what is acceptable here or not involves restraing the posting of foundations of faiths that put down those of other faiths as per Dr. Hsiung's guidlines for the faith forum in relation to posting statements like, [...the only way to God is...], which limits one's freedom to talk about their own God.
Lou

 

Re: Lou's reply to rayww-fredowngd Lou Pilder

Posted by not2late4u on February 3, 2005, at 15:03:48

In reply to Lou's reply to rayww-fredowngd rayww, posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 11:09:54

Well, I must say that I didnt read the rules of before posting on the Faith site, I should have done that. Lou, thanks for giving some other options to rephrasing my personal belief that the only way to God is through Jesus, it says it in the bible. A great scripture to reference would be 1Tim 2:1-8. Lou, I dont know if it is your believe or not, but it is mine and if I cant express what I find to be the truth on this board, maybe I am on the wrong board? I think I am because I dont want to have to worry about every word I type and being "politically correct". What would have happened if Jesus had done that? God bless all. Renee

 

Re: Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy rayww

Posted by not2late4u on February 3, 2005, at 15:10:06

In reply to Re: Lou's response to not2late4u's post-olywy Lou Pilder, posted by rayww on February 3, 2005, at 10:36:12

rayww, thanks for you support on that. I cant back down from what I believe, what kind of christian would I be if I did? I get my truths and beliefs from Gods word, the bible. I know that there are different interpritations of Gods word, but I think for the most part, if we looked at the context in why it was written, perhaps we, (we being the all the religions out there) wouldnt be at such odds with each other. God bless everyone, Renee

 

Lou's reply to not2late4you-mybewrgbrd? not2late4u

Posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 16:27:34

In reply to Re: Lou's reply to rayww-fredowngd Lou Pilder, posted by not2late4u on February 3, 2005, at 15:03:48

not2late4you,
You wrote,[...Lou, thanks for giving me options...{maybe} I am on the wrong board?...].
Perhaps if you allow some time to run and more posts to be made and look back into some archives that your decision could be put on hold?
Lou

 

Re: Lou's reply to not2late4you-mybewrgbrd? Lou Pilder

Posted by not2late4u on February 4, 2005, at 2:39:05

In reply to Lou's reply to not2late4you-mybewrgbrd? not2late4u, posted by Lou Pilder on February 3, 2005, at 16:27:34

Hi Lou, I guess Im confused. Im fairly new to these posts. Its hard to tell sometimes if someone is challenging you or sincerely asking out of curiosity or something else. I'll take the time to read the rules and go from there. I have read some of the past posts and some of it is a bit confusing, maybe its just all over my head? Ah anyways, I wont give up on it yet, I'll do somemore reading first. God bless you, Renee

 

Re: please rephrase that not2late4u

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 22:06:01

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob, posted by not2late4u on February 2, 2005, at 23:50:07

> It is my belief that the only way to God is through Jesus Christ.

The only way for whom?

> Bob, I couldnt think of any other way to put it without discounting my personal belief, so I hope this is ok. Renee

Sometimes this gets complicated, sorry. Let's try to find a way that doesn't discount your beliefs or conflict with those of others? Thanks for your patience,

Bob

 

Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob

Posted by not2late4u on February 4, 2005, at 23:29:21

In reply to Re: please rephrase that not2late4u, posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 22:06:01

bob, I am really sorry I do respect what you do here with the boards, I hope you can respect that I have to be able to express what I believe to be the truth without compromise and therfore I wont be able to post on the faith site.

> It is my belief that the only way to God is through Jesus Christ.

you asked: The only way for whom?

EVERYONE.

Sincerely and best wishes for all and may God bless you now and for eternity. Renee

 

Re: blocked for week not2late4u

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 5, 2005, at 13:48:16

In reply to Re: please rephrase that Dr. Bob, posted by not2late4u on February 4, 2005, at 23:29:21

> I am really sorry I do respect what you do here with the boards, I hope you can respect that I have to be able to express what I believe to be the truth without compromise and therfore I wont be able to post on the faith site.

That's fine, but I'm sorry we couldn't work something out...

Bob

 

Re: 1st Anniversary of Dad's death

Posted by corafree on February 5, 2005, at 18:12:39

In reply to Re: blocked for week not2late4u, posted by Dr. Bob on February 5, 2005, at 13:48:16

Renee:

I'm so sorry that this post turned into an argument. I feel you've been attacked when you were trying to help me.

I would not sit in judgment of your beliefs, nor do I think that you would of mine.

When so deep in grief; your hand was there to hold onto. I am sorry to see that others' tried to hold that hand back.

I don't think others' even mentioned the issue of my father's passing.

I am adult enough to take what I personally feel I need, and leave what I personally feel I don't. I would never argue another's faith unless it came to be a matter of life or death. It would be like tipping them from their boat into the sea!

Thank you Renee ... I've thought of you daily.

It's been hard; LIKE RELIVING the time a year ago.

I have to say 'I need the drugs' or 'I need to see a therapist'; but what I really WANT, is FAITH, in MYSELF, in YOU (someone who is stronger physically and mentally, when I feel like packing it in), and you gave me that. All that you wrote was beautiful to me. cf

 

Re: please be civil corafree

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 9:12:05

In reply to Re: 1st Anniversary of Dad's death, posted by corafree on February 5, 2005, at 18:12:39

> I feel you've been attacked

It's great to support Renee, but please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused.

If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: please be civil Dr. Bob

Posted by corafree on February 8, 2005, at 11:35:39

In reply to Re: please be civil corafree, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 9:12:05

I understand, cf

 

Re: thanks (nm) corafree

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2005, at 22:28:38

In reply to Re: please be civil Dr. Bob, posted by corafree on February 8, 2005, at 11:35:39


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