Psycho-Babble Faith Thread 345807

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Emptiness of spirit

Posted by rayww on May 11, 2004, at 15:13:09

When a person grows accustomed to feeling close to God and then pulls away he may or may not notice anything at first, but after a while will begin to feel a void. I remember back a few years (I won't say how many) I went to church and had a wonderful experience. I realized then, after feeling the spirit, that I hadn't felt it for a long time prior to that. It was then that I realized what I had been missing. I took a good look at myself and recognized what I had been doing wrong. Soon afterward I was back in the spirit and that feeling of emptiness went away.

Sometimes the spirit is so strong it feels radiant, so full it feels like it will run over, so bright it feels like I am lighting up the room, and so warm and cozy.

The discovery of truth also fills the spiritual void. When I stumble onto something that I know is true, it seems like a miracle. It's like I know it from my head to my toes. That truth discovered then becomes a part of me, a piece to my puzzle, or a building block in my character.

Although difficult to describe, the spiritual void and the spiritual cup that runneth over, are both real. Almost surreal. But definately real.

 

you did a great job in your description.... (nm)

Posted by Jai Narayan on May 11, 2004, at 20:04:48

In reply to Emptiness of spirit, posted by rayww on May 11, 2004, at 15:13:09

 

NUMB !!

Posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 0:36:48

In reply to Emptiness of spirit, posted by rayww on May 11, 2004, at 15:13:09

I will say that I am aprofessed Christian(born again) but I have to be honest with you all. I have been living this nightmare exestance of DEPRESSION for so long that I don't see how it is even possible to 'feel God or his warmth or light as some of you refer to. Real Mental Illness is mind numbing, stupifying and it makes me feel sooo far away from God that I could sometimes puke! I guesss I am a little bit like shadows when she said in a thread further up......I hear Christian music and sometimes I like it and it is comforting in its' words and melodies and other times I think what a crock of S*IT. I have been prayed for, prayed with, prayed about, tried to attend church (which is by the way very casual and open, not tied to legalistic BS and condesending overtones) My depression persists, and either I am a VERY HARD nut to crack or I am in swerious denial. I wish I could feel Gods' presence and warmth. So fwiw religion, spirituality, worship, praise etc ...It is not like I have to pray hard or right or long enough to be delivered from this mental anguish, my Mother and Father and Sister are Christains and they all say God is waiting for you....I live with them ..which I am grateful for , because my depression and anxiety don't allow me to be gainfully employed. However , I do know this...I have a lot of hurt , anger and Grief built up in my brain, that needs to be released but reading the Bible, being around people that care for me and pray for me is just something that is harder to engage in than its' worth. Sometimes I feel like tempting God to just strike me dead, get it over with, put me out of my F******G misery. Then at the same time I think ..No God has a plan and a purpose for me.....yada yada yada,, 24/7 and 365 day a year misery. Sorry if I sound ultra negative and pissed off, but I just DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIND STRENGTH in Religion, God, and or spirituality, when I feel so dead and apathetic-my depression is a full body experience - it jacks up every function in my body.. I know a lot of you find strength in Religion or whatever during depression but I don't and am very envious!
sorry for the rant but I just needed to get it out-I seriously think that GOD is out there in the cosmos' looking down on us Laughing and crying all at the same time-mean while those of us that have to endure severe mood disturbances are left to asking, questioning, wondering, why , why this MENTAL ANGUISH - Job in the Bible at least - recovered..or at least that is what it says...thanks for letting me rant- I am just sick of the pain and feeling suicidal, it is a pain in the ass just to exist every day. What is the point?
snapper

 

Re: NUMB !!

Posted by rayww on May 24, 2004, at 0:59:05

In reply to NUMB !!, posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 0:36:48

I think you did the right thing in venting. Do you believe that Christ understands your suffering? He endured what he did in His life to help him understand and know how to succor us in our deepest need. Look to Him. Reign your thoughts toward Him if you can. I know it's hard. Test Him. He has large shoulders and will come as near as you will let Him. You don't have to belong to any religion to do that, but it takes faith. This is the faith board and people who come here are supposed to be trying to figure out what faith is. Fear and doubt will cancel out faith. If you have no faith, lean on those who do and trust ours. We're here for you. I pray that you might see the tiny light in the darkness that will lead you through this. It is there somewhere and I know you will find it.

 

Re: please be civil snapper

Posted by Dr. Bob on May 24, 2004, at 21:48:07

In reply to NUMB !!, posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 0:36:48

> I am just sick of the pain and feeling suicidal, it is a pain in the [*]ss just to exist every day.

Im sorry things are hard for you right now, and please feel free to keep posting, but please don't use language that could offend others.

If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: NUMB !!

Posted by shadows721 on May 24, 2004, at 22:27:30

In reply to NUMB !!, posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 0:36:48

Snapper,

I feel that I understand what you are saying. I don't ever try to tell any one even what direction to go in with spirituality, because I don't know what is the ultimate way to peace. I am still trying to accept myself depression/anxiety and all. Sometimes, I think that I just want to go out in the forest and scream and cry out all this pain. I wish that would just get all of it out of my system. I know that I am just tired of struggling with the sadness and the anger. I want to wake up in the morning and think - "Wow". I feel guilty that I am not appreciating things too. Boy, I feel like a nut.

I just wanted to let you know that I can relate.

 

Re: NUMB !!

Posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 23:18:07

In reply to Re: NUMB !!, posted by shadows721 on May 24, 2004, at 22:27:30

> Snapper,
>
> I feel that I understand what you are saying. I don't ever try to tell any one even what direction to go in with spirituality, because I don't know what is the ultimate way to peace. I am still trying to accept myself depression/anxiety and all. Sometimes, I think that I just want to go out in the forest and scream and cry out all this pain. I wish that would just get all of it out of my system. I know that I am just tired of struggling with the sadness and the anger. I want to wake up in the morning and think - "Wow". I feel guilty that I am not appreciating things too. Boy, I feel like a nut.
>
> I just wanted to let you know that I can relate.

Hi Shadows, thanks for the reply and the understanding. I guess it is just so frustrating to see "others" who seem to make living look so easy and the fact that my depression is not being adaquetly treated right now is what ticks me off. I have a very supporting, family but at the same time it sickens me when my VERY beloved Mother says .... "God is waiting for you to come to him for answers and true healing" I know she means well but it is still dis-heartening .:(--- I have even been accused of not wanting to 'get well'--what a crock !! I too wish I could just go out into the quiet of the mountains and scream, cry, rant, cuss and get rid of all my feelings of hurts and failures, and rejections....the last time I was in the mountains I played in the stream.. and probably laughed and cried at the same time because it made me happy! That was 7 years ago and although it did not solve my depression and anxiety problems it really did truly make me FEEL like I was experiencing the majesty of God - nature....ahhhhh I just wish my brain would quiet down! I am sorry for your pain and thanks for caring enough to reach out-I want peace of mind sooooo bad - hopefully someday we may taste it again.
Best Regards

snapper

 

Re: please be civil (sorry Dr. Bob) (nm)

Posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 23:21:30

In reply to Re: please be civil snapper, posted by Dr. Bob on May 24, 2004, at 21:48:07

 

Re: thanks (nm) snapper

Posted by Dr. Bob on May 25, 2004, at 22:49:48

In reply to Re: please be civil (sorry Dr. Bob) (nm), posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 23:21:30


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