Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1121067

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I have survivor's guilt.

Posted by SLS on November 17, 2022, at 11:27:34

I often experience survivor's guilt when I visit Psycho-Babble.

I just thought you should know.


- Scott

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS

Posted by linkadge on November 18, 2022, at 13:40:52

In reply to I have survivor's guilt., posted by SLS on November 17, 2022, at 11:27:34

Do you mean in reference to past members that are no longer with us?

Is it guilt that you could have done something to help them, or is it simply guilt that you are taking a different path?

Linkadge

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. linkadge

Posted by SLS on November 18, 2022, at 20:34:02

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS, posted by linkadge on November 18, 2022, at 13:40:52

> Do you mean in reference to past members that are no longer with us?
>
> Is it guilt that you could have done something to help them, or is it simply guilt that you are taking a different path?
>
> Linkadge


I feel guilty that I am well and that everyone else isn't.

It's not fair.

It sometimes brings tears to my eyes.

I still feel like a comrade here, though. I will ever stop caring.


- Scott

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS

Posted by jay2112 on November 19, 2022, at 14:30:51

In reply to I have survivor's guilt., posted by SLS on November 17, 2022, at 11:27:34

> I often experience survivor's guilt when I visit Psycho-Babble.
>
> I just thought you should know.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>

Scott,

Best thing you can do is listen, non-judgementally (not saying you don't) to anyone/everyone. We are ALL in recovery.

Jay

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. jay2112

Posted by SLS on November 19, 2022, at 19:56:08

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS, posted by jay2112 on November 19, 2022, at 14:30:51

> > I often experience survivor's guilt when I visit Psycho-Babble.
> >
> > I just thought you should know.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
> >
>
> Scott,
>
> Best thing you can do is listen, non-judgementally (not saying you don't) to anyone/everyone. We are ALL in recovery.
>
> Jay
>


That's not where I was headed, Jay.

It is with great sadness and a deep sense of guilt that I read this board knowing that I now have my freedom. Yet, I look back to see everyone else still imprisoned. This is an emotional issue that I need to process and come to accept.

I wasn't looking for ways to deal with my survivor's guilt. I wasn't looking for ways to interact with others. I just wanted it to be known that I was experiencing it. I am reluctant to say this, but I am looking back at all of you who remain ill, and I say, "Why me? Why not anyone else?". With a mind of increasing clarity, I see the true magnitude of our tragedy. I was a member of that tragedy for decades. My sense of good fortune leaves me aching that others should find theirs, too.

I still have the disease. I am not "cured", even though it sure feels like it. I am only in remission. I could relapse before I finish writing this sentence.

I would be a very selfish and ungrateful person were I not to want to bring everyone else along with me. My spirituality very much compels me to remain part of this community. The only thing separating me from you is dumb luck.


- Scott

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS

Posted by TriedEveryMedication on November 25, 2022, at 13:53:12

In reply to I have survivor's guilt., posted by SLS on November 17, 2022, at 11:27:34

Scott, what is your current regimen, if I may ask

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt.

Posted by SLS on November 25, 2022, at 15:30:41

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS, posted by TriedEveryMedication on November 25, 2022, at 13:53:12

> Scott, what is your current regimen, if I may ask

Always.

Nardil (phenlzine) - 90 mg/day
Pamelor (nortriptyline) - 50 mg/day
Lamictal (lamotrigine) - 300 mg/day
Lithium (carbonate) - 300 mg/day


For what it's worth, none of these drugs were chosen using their pharmacological properties as a determinant.

Trial-and-Error.


- Scott

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt.

Posted by ed_uk on December 4, 2022, at 12:59:44

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt., posted by SLS on November 25, 2022, at 15:30:41

Great to hear that you're doing better Scott.

 

Re: I have survivor's guilt. ed_uk

Posted by SLS on December 4, 2022, at 19:00:22

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt., posted by ed_uk on December 4, 2022, at 12:59:44

> Great to hear that you're doing better Scott.

Thank you.

The result of my being so robustly improved is the result of a 40 year odyssey that included some timely luck.

My clinical treatment over the course of 4 decades was very different from what I see here on Psycho-Babble. I asked you a few challenging questions along the following thread:

https://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220917/msgs/1121205.html

I am not looking for friends today, but I would like not to lose too many.


- Scott


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