Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 1056808

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

addicted to depression - possible?

Posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 19:18:44

Is it possible to get addicted to depression? Sometimes, when I am really down, I tell myself (and others) that I don't want to get better.
Actually, when I am really depressed, I don't actually want to get better.

For some reason, it feels great to be miserable. Sometimes, I'm only happy when I am miserable.

Linkadge

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?

Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 19:56:36

In reply to addicted to depression - possible?, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 19:18:44

maybe it is about acceptance. accepting yourself. rather than feeling like you have to put on a happy face or pretend to be different from how you feel you really are.

?

or maybe not...

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me

Posted by stargazer2 on December 22, 2013, at 20:06:44

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible? (nm), posted by stargazer2 on December 22, 2013, at 19:58:09

I never feel accepting of my depression. It always feels bad and defective and makes me feel out of touch with others and the world. I have never thought this is a good thing, only how I have lost out of normalcy and how much of my life I have lost out on. I teeter on the verge of suicidality constantly lately. I am scared to dead of what might be called the future. I can't look ahead and barely can tolerate today.

There is nothing remotely acceptable about the state of mind I know as depression but perhaps it is not depression but something far worse that they are not even aware of that i keeping me in this abyssmal state of mind. Ordinary depression is nothing like the world I have lived in for most of my life. Maybe that is the difference between one's own depression and the one I know. You cannot compare one's reality to another's with any degree of accuracy and similarity.

Star

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me

Posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 20:38:22

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by stargazer2 on December 22, 2013, at 20:06:44

its not even 'accepting' myself as being depressed, its actually wanting to be depressed.

i.e. I feel that my pessimistic views about the world are the truth, and to think otherwise would be na´ve.

In other words, I feel that my feelings are appropriate and justified and am therefore resistant to feeling more optimistic.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me

Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2013, at 20:50:18

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 20:38:22

i think i read something on how people who are depressed tend to have more accurate self assessment than people who aren't depressed. people who aren't depressed tend to think more highly of themselves than other people do.

who knows what that means...

maybe... after a long time of it... maybe it is easier to be depressed. not being depressed feels scary... risky... what is one supposed to do?

if one steps out one might get squashed.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me

Posted by sigismund on December 23, 2013, at 1:24:31

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 20:38:22

>I feel that my pessimistic views about the world are the truth, and to think otherwise would be na´ve.

>In other words, I feel that my feelings are appropriate and justified and am therefore resistant to feeling more optimistic.

I don't know if that is depression, whatever that is, but I feel exactly the same.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me ╗ stargazer2

Posted by sigismund on December 23, 2013, at 1:27:04

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by stargazer2 on December 22, 2013, at 20:06:44

> You cannot compare one's reality to another's with any degree of accuracy and similarity.

Maybe psychological isolation is a factor in common, different in degree?

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me ╗ linkadge

Posted by g_g_g_unit on December 23, 2013, at 6:47:42

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 20:38:22

> its not even 'accepting' myself as being depressed, its actually wanting to be depressed.
>
> i.e. I feel that my pessimistic views about the world are the truth, and to think otherwise would be na´ve.
>
> In other words, I feel that my feelings are appropriate and justified and am therefore resistant to feeling more optimistic.
>

yeah, I can relate to this .. especially when being depressed for so long has caused great perturbances in my place in the world anyway. It feels like any alteration would just be masking the reality of my situation.

or, as Kurt Cobain put it, "I miss the comfort in being sad".

 

its like homer simpson looses his hair.. and

Posted by Jeroen on December 23, 2013, at 7:02:01

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me ╗ linkadge, posted by g_g_g_unit on December 23, 2013, at 6:47:42

dont wanna go back hairy = depression
sorta

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible? ╗ linkadge

Posted by Phil on December 23, 2013, at 9:38:38

In reply to addicted to depression - possible?, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 19:18:44

People with depression see the world as it really is than people without depression. true.

Like one psychiatrist told me, you live a depressive lifestyle. Maybe the rut is more comfortable that digging out of the rut.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?

Posted by sleepygirl2 on December 23, 2013, at 9:46:19

In reply to addicted to depression - possible?, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 19:18:44

"You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end"

Song lyric? You know it?
Maybe.... "Somebody that I used to know'"

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?

Posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 9:58:38

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?, posted by sleepygirl2 on December 23, 2013, at 9:46:19

No I really want to be happy like I used to be before all these docs tried to tell me and stupidly I listed and stopped doing what I enjoyed and did what was suggested. My mistake and a huge one. Phillipa

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa

Posted by stargazer2 on December 23, 2013, at 11:39:23

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?, posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 9:58:38

Do you think this is depression or a change in your circumstances? I know you don't have the same level of depression that many on this board do. Happiness is not something I can even think of when depression has its hold on me, that is so far off the radar it doesn't even occur to me to
look for happiness. It would be great if that were to occur but I'm too focused on getting out from under the darkness.

What did you stop doing that you enjoyed and why not do it again? I'll try it if you say it made you happy.

Star

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa ╗ stargazer2

Posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 17:57:04

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa, posted by stargazer2 on December 23, 2013, at 11:39:23

Honestly? Listen to the dumb pdoc that put me on the first ad. After this it created fear as the SSRI's had bad side effects. Each time I went off them I knew in a few days I'd feel better when out of my system. And I did on just the Xanax at the time. The other thing was the doc told me I didn't want to work anymore and I listened to him and quit my job. Biggest mistake of my life. Phillipa

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me ╗ linkadge

Posted by baseball55 on December 23, 2013, at 21:01:06

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Not for me, posted by linkadge on December 22, 2013, at 20:38:22

> In other words, I feel that my feelings are appropriate and justified and am therefore resistant to feeling more optimistic.
>
I don't associate depression with pessimism. When I'm depressed, all thoughts, positive or negative, cease. I am simply in pain and want to end the pain. Sometimes, I rouse myself enough to reach out to people and get help. Sometimes, I become virtually catatonic, sometimes actively suicidal. I will do anything to make it end.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa ╗ stargazer2

Posted by baseball55 on December 23, 2013, at 21:07:22

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa, posted by stargazer2 on December 23, 2013, at 11:39:23

> Happiness is not something I can even think of when depression has its hold on me, that is so far off the radar it doesn't even occur to me to
> look for happiness. It would be great if that were to occur but I'm too focused on getting out from under the darkness.

When I was really in the pit a few years ago, my psychiatrist asked me if I had fantasies. I said I didn't. He meant, not elaborate fantasies, but just imagining a pleasant event in the future, like imagining visiting my daughter or going to a movie with a friend. Imagining being happy. And I realized that I didn't imagine that. I couldn't imagine being happy. All I could do was slog through each hour, push myself through each day.

Like you, I didn't even imagine happiness. Just surviving took all my energy.

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa ╗ baseball55

Posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 22:09:17

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa ╗ stargazer2, posted by baseball55 on December 23, 2013, at 21:07:22

I have many fantasies but they are just fantasies as one is to be younger and go back to being who I was. Which I never can be. So I must work on acceptance. Once that has occurred I can move forward. Phillipa

 

Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa

Posted by Ronnjee on December 24, 2013, at 20:40:16

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa ╗ baseball55, posted by Phillipa on December 23, 2013, at 22:09:17

Maybe just an example of "the devil you know".


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