Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 677905

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

passive-aggressive behaviour

Posted by crazy71 on August 18, 2006, at 19:18:36

Hello... I am new to the board and was just wondering if anyone out there has dealings with a PA loved one. I have been with my Husband for almost 10 years, and everything is my fault. From the job he has, to the lack of sex, to the bills we have, even his weight and health. Nothing that I do is ever right or enough! I have finally been pushed into believing that I need help in coping with the things (physical and emotional) that he throws at me. I love him VERY much and I don't want to end our marriage, but at times he makes me feel that it would be the best thing for us/him, if I weren't here to "always let him down and not love, respect, or care enough" about him. Any thoughts on different things to try to aleve his feeling and keep the marriage alive. Techniques that anyone has tried and has worked for them. Interested in any and all advice. Thanks so much in advance!! crazy71

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour crazy71

Posted by Phillipa on August 18, 2006, at 21:17:30

In reply to passive-aggressive behaviour, posted by crazy71 on August 18, 2006, at 19:18:36

Sounds like marriage counselling might be the first step. A third party to assess the situation. Then if needed maybe meds? Love Phillipa

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour crazy71

Posted by curtm on August 21, 2006, at 15:41:38

In reply to passive-aggressive behaviour, posted by crazy71 on August 18, 2006, at 19:18:36

I doubt a passive aggressive would like marriage counseling. I have many PA traits (undiagnosed) and I hated it. PA's are naturally controlling in their actions or lack thereof. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Don't go crazy. I know it sucks to be put in the driver's seat all the time, but it is what it is right now. It will get better and you can do more than you think, if you have the patience. He WILL see how you calmly react to situations and it is always good for him to hear "Everything will be ok." Does he by chance have any other mood disorder?

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour

Posted by crazy71 on August 23, 2006, at 7:00:47

In reply to Re: passive-aggressive behaviour crazy71, posted by curtm on August 21, 2006, at 15:41:38

He is happy one minute, angry the next. He will threaten me when angry, call me names, belittle me and every once in a while in front of the kids. After everything blows over, the "makeup" is my fault too. He say " You don't love me, or I know your going to leave me." I don't want to leave, but he literally opens the door and tells me to pack my sh*t and get out. I don't know what other disorders you could classify him in. He has never been diagnosed as PA, but I am a nursing student and this is some of the stuff we studied. Everytime he has what I call a "mood Swing" I am left to feel like the bad guy and he goes about things without a care. I guess my biggest problem is....he won't get help and I don't know what to do anymore, how to help him. When I react calmly, he says I don't car about him and that god forbid I show any emotion. It had been 10 years of emotion, I don't think I have any left....Thanks for your input and advice (sorry to unload on all of you like this.)

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour crazy71

Posted by curtm on August 23, 2006, at 9:23:53

In reply to Re: passive-aggressive behaviour, posted by crazy71 on August 23, 2006, at 7:00:47

That sounds similar to my behaviour when I am really out of whack. Is he willing to try a mood stabilizer such as Lamictal. He may even like the stability.He can't possibly enjoy going through life miserable can he?

PS I am bipolar (actually cyclothymic which cycles faster.) Is that a possibility for him?

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour

Posted by crazy71 on August 25, 2006, at 21:37:53

In reply to Re: passive-aggressive behaviour crazy71, posted by curtm on August 23, 2006, at 9:23:53

At this point he is sure it is me and that there is nothing wrong with him. I mentioned getting counseling for myself, (with the thought that I could get help for him by me going and use techniques I learn on him), but he told me that if I go, I can pack up my things, go to therapy and then find a place to live when I'm done because I won't be welcome back to our home. My other concern is for the 3 children we have. I don't want them growing up thinking that this sort of behaviour is o.k. I have talked to them and mentioned that dad gets "stressed" and sometimes can't handle all of the pressure. They seen to take that for an answer when they see him "flip out". I'm glad for your insight and advice. It helps to know that there is someone out there who understands. Thumbs up to you for realizing that you have moments and you are trying to ease them.

 

Re: passive-aggressive behaviour

Posted by crazy71 on August 25, 2006, at 21:40:57

In reply to Re: passive-aggressive behaviour, posted by crazy71 on August 25, 2006, at 21:37:53

I wish there was a way to slip him the meds and see if it makes a difference. I know that after his episodes, he then tells me I don't love him and I'm going to leave him. I do love him and I tell him that all the time, but for example, I have been the "bad guy" for over a week now, and have just about had it. It is hard to put yourself on the defensive, and then let the guard down when things seen to be o.k.


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.