Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 357488

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again

Posted by 2ndXround on June 17, 2004, at 6:42:28

Hi
I am new and rather lost so forgive me if I mess up.
I was a meth addict/alcoholic (IV user) when I was 17 until 24. I signed myself into a drug treatment lockup and stayed an entire year. (I am also an RN at UC Med Center). I was clean.
I married (at 30) and had kids. My daughters are 22 and 19. We live in the same home for 23 years.I was clean the entire time, in fact I forgot about using entirely....until my older daughter brought it home 3 years ago.
She used everything, literally, and was a dealer, using our house to deal. She brought her 'Rave' life (friends) into our home...and she became a stranger. Our family fell apart.
My excuse is that my husband didn't care, didn't believe me when I said we had a problem and I needed help with our daughter. He told me his work was more important them family. He also warned me not to call the police.
I was weak...and stuped. I talked myself into believing I could get closer to my daughter if I tried some crack (meth? smoked). I finally called the police to report a stolen car in our garage, 2 loaded guns in our house and drugs all over. The police called our home a 'crack house'. She hated me and my husband blamed me because I called the police.
She was finally arrested and was sentenced to 18 months in rehab, 3 years probabation, 6 months in jail time served.
She is clean...I am not.
I have gone back to drinking and I smoke all day long.
How stupid can I be???? I hate myself, but have lost interest is even trying to stop. My marriage is in name only....I lost respect when he put money above family.
I am 51.....
Has anyone slipped this hard after more then 20 years clean? I come from an alcoholic family..my father died of alcoholism at 56.
I need some motivation...
Thanks...

 

Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again

Posted by mcp on June 17, 2004, at 10:09:05

In reply to Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again, posted by 2ndXround on June 17, 2004, at 6:42:28

When you were sober before did you stay active in AA? I think the first thing you need to do is get back involved with AA and start talking on a daily basis with fellow addicts and alcoholics who can steer you in the right direction. I have been sober for seven months. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Believe me, I can empathize with what you are going through. I hit rock bottom in a big way. For you the only priority in your life has to be sobriety. NOthing including your family comes before that because none of it will matter if you aren't sober. Please feel free to e-mail me at mcpark@socal.rr.com if you want to chat.

 

Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again 2ndXround

Posted by psychosage on June 17, 2004, at 17:19:47

In reply to Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again, posted by 2ndXround on June 17, 2004, at 6:42:28

> Hi
> I am new and rather lost so forgive me if I mess up.
> I was a meth addict/alcoholic (IV user) when I was 17 until 24. I signed myself into a drug treatment lockup and stayed an entire year. (I am also an RN at UC Med Center). I was clean.
> I married (at 30) and had kids. My daughters are 22 and 19. We live in the same home for 23 years.I was clean the entire time, in fact I forgot about using entirely....until my older daughter brought it home 3 years ago.
> She used everything, literally, and was a dealer, using our house to deal. She brought her 'Rave' life (friends) into our home...and she became a stranger. Our family fell apart.
> My excuse is that my husband didn't care, didn't believe me when I said we had a problem and I needed help with our daughter. He told me his work was more important them family. He also warned me not to call the police.
> I was weak...and stuped. I talked myself into believing I could get closer to my daughter if I tried some crack (meth? smoked). I finally called the police to report a stolen car in our garage, 2 loaded guns in our house and drugs all over. The police called our home a 'crack house'. She hated me and my husband blamed me because I called the police.
> She was finally arrested and was sentenced to 18 months in rehab, 3 years probabation, 6 months in jail time served.
> She is clean...I am not.
> I have gone back to drinking and I smoke all day long.
> How stupid can I be???? I hate myself, but have lost interest is even trying to stop. My marriage is in name only....I lost respect when he put money above family.
> I am 51.....
> Has anyone slipped this hard after more then 20 years clean? I come from an alcoholic family..my father died of alcoholism at 56.
> I need some motivation...
> Thanks...


http://pub6.dream-tools.net/tools/messages.mv?index+kcimeth


no stranger to meth here. i wish you well!

 

Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again

Posted by beatrix34 on June 17, 2004, at 19:55:30

In reply to Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again 2ndXround, posted by psychosage on June 17, 2004, at 17:19:47

I went into recovery for drugs and alcohol 5 years ago and I agree, you need to call either AA or NA and try to get some people in your life that can help you through this. I can see the circle of guilt in your posting and I feel for you. I know what it's like to have to face your demons. This is some heavy stuff that you are going through but I do know that you can get through it, as you did before. I know it's hard to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but you've seen it once before and it awaits you still.

Please keep posting....sober or not...we're here to support you, I am sending you all good thoughts.

Remember, you are powerless over the disease of addiction. Please try to see that it is not your fault that you have this disease. You can, however, take your life back. I will pray for you to get better, ((((XnsXround)))))

Bea

 

Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again

Posted by 2ndXround on June 18, 2004, at 1:42:57

In reply to Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again, posted by 2ndXround on June 17, 2004, at 6:42:28

Hi
I told you I was new..I just posted a reply on a different board, the substance abuse board.
To the people who answered me yesterday..
I hope you will follow me there....because I am not sure I can redo my post to you.
Thankyou
I am still lost here...but learning.
Thankyou

 

Redirect: Meth

Posted by Dr. Bob on June 18, 2004, at 20:21:57

In reply to Re: Meth-20 years Clean-addicted again, posted by 2ndXround on June 18, 2004, at 1:42:57

> I told you I was new..I just posted a reply on a different board, the substance abuse board.
> To the people who answered me yesterday..
> I hope you will follow me there....

Here's a link:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/357711.html

> I am still lost here...but learning.

That's the attitude! :-)

Bob


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.