Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 331111

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Misery loves company

Posted by seanwrx on March 31, 2004, at 22:46:38

I am male, age 28 and have beeing dealing with anxiety/depression for about 5 years (with medication). Growing up I was always an anxious child, usually manifesting itself as IBS - this lasted most of my childhood. However, I never really understood it till now, and although it was a drag, and stopped me from doing alot of things it never ruined my life. For all practical purposes I was happy and enjoyed things. Looking back I was a relatively normal kid, probably a litte more senstitive then most, with dreams about life, etc.

My anxiety, which by high school basically manifested itself as IBS in the mornings ( I was 'fine' otherwise), became a concern for me as I headed off to college.

I ended up doing well at school and towards the end of college the IBS symptoms became very minor, almost non-existant really. Unfortunetly that is where constant anxiety and depression starting happening.

I had constant headaches in my early twenties (I have never really had a headache in the past)and that prompted Dr. visits, MRI's, ear-nose-throat Docs, etc...ultimetly my PD declared I was depressed/anxious. The tension headaches being a result of the depression and axneity (I was quite frustrated and obsessed with the headaches and fatigue - very, very, depressed about it really).

Anyway, I have gone through the gamut of different medications and haven't really found anything that works for me. I just came off a 6 month stint of Remeron and didn't fare too well. I was tired, it didn't help with my 'anxiety' and I was putting on weight. Over the past two years I have had Klonopin as my ace in the hole but rarely used it. Coming off of the Remeron I starting using it more frequently, but today I had to leave work because I felt like sh*t...and that was using the Klonopin, which scares me that my Ace is actually a 2 of clubs...

In the past, I have tried:
Effexor
Lexapro
Wellbutrin
Prozac
Celexa
Buspar
Remeron

To be fair, some probably didn't get the full 4-8 weeks to work, but I usually toughed it out for a month or more and usually six months (or longer) on some.

Anymore I don't know if I have depression or anxiety or both. Throughout these past 5 years quite a few things have stayed steady, despite the medication. I know that my confidence is shot and I have a 'sick' feeling almost everyday - whether it be fatigue or headache or dizziness or a combo of any three. I have had 'panic' attacks just a few times. Once a year maybe. I pretty much have an anxious/nervous feeling 24-7 but its more of a bewilderment or spacey feeling with a desire to just get away from where ever I am at. My heart doesn't race, beads of sweat don't roll down my forehead, I don't think I am having a heart-attack, no palpatations, etc. Coffee (I don't drink soda)actually tends to bring some lucidity to my usually foggy brain. My sypmtoms all are very low key to an outside person, but inside it just drives me crazy with greif, frustration and self pity. I have sucicial thoughts quite often, not with the notion that the world would be better off without me, but to end my suffering. I really can't imagine going on like this. Other then getting through school and landing a decent job I don't have much else in my life. I am more or less consumed by my 'illness'.

I think I did best on a combination of Prozac and klonopin as needed. This was two years ago after a 'breakdown' after a breakup with a girlfriend. I started exercising, doing yoga, being almost religious about my diet. Unfortunetly after I started to feel better I started going out more and more and got caught up in all the wrong things again (smoking, drinking, etc). I have quit smoking again, today was the last patch...so maybe that is something to cheer about.

Anyway, I enjoy reading all the other posts and I think that people really help each other out. If anyone has any tips for me I would appreciate it. My only words of advice are to give your friends and family a copy of William Styron's Darkness Visible...I found that best explains to the lay person what its like.

 

Re: Misery loves company

Posted by snapper on April 1, 2004, at 0:17:15

In reply to Misery loves company, posted by seanwrx on March 31, 2004, at 22:46:38

yes it does, sorry to hear that you are having such a hell of a time like many others here on PB.You sound a lot like me as kid and IBS and nervousness etc- it would come and go -though I did not finish college! I wish I could give you some definitive advice or answers to your problems - I know its not easy! Sometimes I find that just trying to respond to other peoples posts helps me a lot to get my mind off of myself etc. Yes Styrons book Is very good.sorry i'm rambling again... I do it a lot -oh well - I definitely know the feeling of constantly or almsot constantly feeling suicidal-I really have come to beleive that it is the anxiety part of Depression that makes us so crazy headed and feel like suicide is a good option. If you don't have a good p-doc I would reccomend getting a very good one - if its affordable -ins or what ever. I don't want to label you but from a lot of the symptoms you listed, you sound like you might have some bi-polar things going on-esp BP II - dperession intertwined w/lots of anxiety and the type of anxiety that does'nt particularily seem evident to other people- I know I most always do not sweat or have lots of heart palps-(could be because I am on 2 to 3 mg a day of Klonopin -
anyway If you could give some more background to your symptoms in more detail, I'm sure that lots of people here on PB would chime in and give you some advice and better understanding as to what is really going on! Good Luck
snapper

 

Re: Misery loves company

Posted by seanwrx on April 1, 2004, at 1:24:17

In reply to Re: Misery loves company, posted by snapper on April 1, 2004, at 0:17:15

Thanks for the reply Snapper.

This guy I work with has been having trouble for quite a while, I finally just told him he needed to get into a doctor and get counseling or get on an SSRI or something. He did a few months back, and of course he is doing great (first times a charm I guess). He put it a way that I hadn't thought of. He said before it was like there was blanket over his head, and thats all he could see and all he was breathing was that hot air. He is taking Lexapro and Wellbutrin and a different person (more like when we met 5 + years ago). I don't think he had the anxiety issues, but he was pretty depressed, and to some extent restless - always wanting to get out of the office, get home, etc (maybe anxiety?).

Anyway, that's how I feel to some extent, I always tell people that its like I am am incapable of seeing farther then two feet in front of my face.

I see a shrink for meds, and those sessions last about an hour once every 5 weeks or so. I was seeing a therapist but the insurance got all screwed up with that (his fault) so I am going to see somebody next week, which will make it about 4 months since I went to any sort of therapy.

My shrink actually brought up Bi-polar in our conversations, based off the fact that one week might be a good week (best week I have had in awhile, etc) and then the next time I see him I am at the brink of destruction (fed up). I don't know though, at my best, I was pretty consistent (looking at my records from my p-doc) on prozac and/or lexapro and when I maintained a better diet. But even then, I didn't feel I was over the hump, but I felt ok and that I was heading somewhere. I got back into going out, drinking, smoking, etc...things that aren't good for you, and if you have some guilt issues about it then they are worse.

Anyway, I am going to ask about the bi-polar issue next week but I do have to say, I have never been manic as far as I can tell. I would say this, in no particular order, probably all equally important:

No confidence/hope that things will get better

I fall asleep easy, but its not very good sleep

I have a hard time getting up in the morning

I have a desire to be motivated, but I find it hard to be motivated at work when I am concetrating on the anxiety/depression all the time

My main anxiety issues would be a foggy-ness or bewilderment that slowly migrates to fatigue and a desire to 'get out' of work, the grocery store, etc. If you are suspectable to depression you can only go some many days like that before you feel pretty desperate. I think thats what happens to me over and over.

 

Re: Misery loves company

Posted by snapper on April 1, 2004, at 1:49:54

In reply to Re: Misery loves company, posted by seanwrx on April 1, 2004, at 1:24:17

No confidence/hope that things will get better
>>> I CAN RELATE
I fall asleep easy, but its not very good sleep
>>> I HAVE TO SEDATE MY SELF TO FALL ASLEEP AND DONT GET GREAT QUALITY OF SLEEP!
I have a hard time getting up in the morning
>>>> I WAKE UP TO SOON AND TRY TO GO BACK TO SLEEP FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE-AND THAT IS SO I CAN AVOID THE PROSPECT OF ANOTHER MISERABLE DAY
AND I DON'T WORK OR VOLUNTEER (SEVERE COGNITIVE PROBLEMS!)
I have a desire to be motivated, but I find it hard to be motivated at work when I am concetrating on the anxiety/depression all the time
>> MOTIVATION HAS ALSO BEEN A VERY HARD THING FOR ME TOO -THOUGH IT HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT BETTER LATELY- MAYBE ITS CUZ ITS SPRING ?
My main anxiety issues would be a foggy-ness or bewilderment that slowly migrates to fatigue and a desire to 'get out' of work, the grocery store, etc. If you are suspectable to depression you can only go some many days like that before you feel pretty desperate. I think thats what happens to me over and over.

AND YES YES YES YES YES YES, AND THE FOG SEEMS LIKE IT WILL NEVER LIFT - EVERYTHING IS AN EXTREME EFFORT!! MY FAMILY KNOWS BETTER THAN TO ASK ME TO GO TOO MANY PLACES BECAUSE I CANT HANDLE THE NOISE THE LIGHTS THE CROWDS IT IS ALL SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS-AND THE FATIGUE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM 97 INSTEAD OF 37-- MY PARENTS ARE 66 AND 68 AND THEY FUNCTION BETTER THAN ME AND MY SISTER ---AND YES IT IS A DESPERATE FEELING!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT AND KEEP POSTING ! DON'T GIVE UP!!!
SEE YA
CLINT

 

Re: Misery loves company

Posted by vortex on April 1, 2004, at 3:46:41

In reply to Misery loves company, posted by seanwrx on March 31, 2004, at 22:46:38

That is a particularly favorite phrase of mine as of late! (Misery loves company). :)

I'm so sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. I wish that I had some great advice for you. Sadly, I am right there with you in the trenches so to speak. All I can say is that I understand and can totally empathize with you.

And congratulations on stopping smoking. That is not an easy thing to do. You should give yourself some credit for having the strength to stop.

 

Re: double double quotes seanwrx

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 1, 2004, at 11:27:48

In reply to Misery loves company, posted by seanwrx on March 31, 2004, at 22:46:38

> My only words of advice are to give your friends and family a copy of William Styron's Darkness Visible...

I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon

The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html

Thanks!

Bob

 

Re: double double quotes

Posted by seanwrx on April 1, 2004, at 11:45:36

In reply to Re: double double quotes seanwrx, posted by Dr. Bob on April 1, 2004, at 11:27:48

Sorry Bob, I saw that most books were linked and I didn't think that many people knew HTML. I will quote books in the future.
-S

ps...Could constant use of klonopin act as a depressant? and over-ride any of the anxiety-releif benefits it has offer? I just started taking klonopin again the last few weeks, usually .5mg at night...sometimes .5mg during the day. But the last few days have been pretty bad (anxiety > depression) and I have doubled and even tripled the dose some days in an effort to calm myself down, but I found that I got more and more depressed unfortunetely.


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