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Re: Lou's reply to sassyfrancesca- sassyfrancesca

Posted by Dena on July 29, 2008, at 14:45:35

In reply to Re: Lou's reply to sassyfrancesca-, posted by sassyfrancesca on July 11, 2008, at 8:33:36

> Lou: I don't wish to go into the whole ugly story again (triggers me), but in answer to your last question: What skills do/did the pastor need to counsel abused women?
> All the skills any trained psychotherapist has.
> He needed a working knowledge of what abuse IS and how it affects the abused. He was clueless, and did such damage to so many women. I was naive to think he could help me. I helped myself, and am the moderator of an abused survivors' group.
> I may be chosen to present my paper on verbal abuse to the American Counseling Association next year, because of my experience and knowledge of the subject.
> The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is the 2nd most important book in the Universe in my opinion. One Ph.D. stated "It is the cornerstone of civilization."
> I don't want or desire to answer any more questions about what happened; I don't need the triggers. you can read what happened to me:
> My ex didn't commit adultery; he abused me; churches behave as if divorce is the ultimate sin; churches do such damage, because or their ignorance.

I've read your story elsewhere, on other forums.

I told you elsewhere that I could relate to your abuse, as we also went through spiritual abuse (different details, same dynamics), also just over four years ago.

You know, you can move past the place where it feels as if you're a victim... you can receive healing so that you're no longer triggered. You don't have to let this be your identify.

There are ways to have it be resolved, internally, so that it no longer consumes and harms you.

I would think, once a person has received their own healing and resolution, they would be much better able to help others do the same...

Shalom, Dena

"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers."

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West

"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something."

"Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."

"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."




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