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Lou's reply to sassyfrancesca- sassyfrancesca

Posted by Lou PIlder on July 10, 2008, at 18:40:26

In reply to Re: Lou's request for clarification-smknmhirors?, posted by sassyfrancesca on July 10, 2008, at 10:25:43

> Lou; Your questions are a little confusing; if you want to know what spiritual abuse is you can go into: www.spiritualabuse.com; it is a support website for those abused spiritually; it describes what spiritual abuse is.
>
> There are also books on spiritual abuse
>
> In a nutshell, spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader uses his own agenda to try and force you to do things against your will; blames and shames you.
>
> Anytime a pastor/spiritual leader causes people to lose hope and want to commit suicide, that is abuse. He doesn't/did not have the skills to counsel women who were being abused. I am the moderator of an abused survivors' group, and have been counseling the abused for many years.
>
> I was naive (as the other women were) in going to him for help; he was without a clue. He told one woman (who, according to the Bible) had grounds for divorce (her husband was committing adultery); this "pastor" told her she had to "stay" and still have sex with him, because it was her "duty."
>
> Sad, sick counsel, indeed.
>
>
> www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com
>
> I was voted out of membership, with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words: "Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God." For the ex they used the words, "church discipline." Ironic...the ex is the abuser. Christians "shooting their wounded."
>
> It happened 4 years ago; I am triggered by religious words; cannot go into any church now. That is what spiritual abuse does.

sassayfrancesca,
You wrote,[...spiritual abuse is when a spiritual leader uses his (her?) own agenda to try to force you to do things against your will; blames and shames you...], and [...anytime a pastor/spiritual leader causes people to loose hope and want to commit suicide, that is abuse...]
Then there is a description of your own experiance with a pastor/spiritual leader and you wrote;
[...He deosn't/did not have the skills to counsel women who were being abused...he was without a clue...he told a women that she had to stay with her husband even though he was committing adultery becuae it was her duty..Sad XXX councel...voted out of membership..conduct...the ex is...what spiritual abuse does...].
I have a want for infomation in order for me to have a clearer understanding of the aspects of your post here. If I knew the following, then I could have a better ubderstanding of what you are defining as spiritual abuse and respond accordingly.
A. I see that you were divorced ,and was there a move-back-in of your previous husband after that that was brought into play by the church group in relation to their posting what you wrote as on the screen? If that is the case here, I have heard of that situation and there are groups that use a scripture that the Jews use in their scriptures that speaks to that situation. Did they cite any scripture that that group uses to justify their actions toward you in their voting your membership out? Also, were you allowed to answer them in any hearing, if there was one that offered you that? Could you give more infomation as to what the abuse was? I am unsure as to that if this involves you having your ex husband cohabit with you as to if that is connected and how to what the abuse could be.
Also, there are various scriptures that the church that you refer to uses from their scriptures to justify an action of taking away one's memberhip from their group. Did they cite any of those? There is biblical mention of marriage being divorced for cause and also there is biblical mention as to if one has to invoke that cause or not and remain with an adulterous spouse. This is a spiritual concept to understand for it involves forgivnes on the Divine plane and goes beyound human achievment into the realm of Divine accomplishment of healing and forgivness. The book called Hosea could be a good book to read.
B. In,[...forcing one aginst their will...], I am unsure as to if there was something that the pastor forced you to do something against your will and I am not sure as to what you are wanting to mean if there was such and if so what it was. Could you clarify that for me here?
C.In,[...causes to loose hope...,I am unsure as to what the pastor did or said that was what could cause people to loose hope and hope in what? If you could clarify this for me, I would appreciate it and respond accordingly.
D.In,[...He doesn't have the skills...] what are the skills that are needed for one to counsel abused women in your opinion?
Lou


 

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poster:Lou PIlder thread:833992
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20080404/msgs/839174.html