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Re: Where does your faith come from?

Posted by smokeymadison on November 23, 2004, at 18:30:47

In reply to Where does your faith come from?, posted by 64bowtie on November 23, 2004, at 13:22:50

To start, there is something inside of me that holds constant no matter what i am going through at the time. i had an "experience" when i was 17 that helped me get through the worst depression i have ever had. i hadn't slept or eaten in a week and was curled up against the corner in bed. i sort of floated out of my body and up into the air above the roof of the house. i somehow saw the "bigger" picture. i saw the intersection of the walls supporting me, the walls extending outward in space as far as i could see. i am still not sure what all it meant, but i felt comforted.

i don't beleive that things happen randomly; i believe that there is a purpose to what happens. sure, i was a bit delusional at that moment, but something allowed it to happen the way it did in order to keep me alive the next few years. i think that i have enough "evidence" to support the fact that i am suppose to live. three suicide attempts and one horrific car accident in my past and i can look back and see someone or something intervened to keep my alive. So i believe in some sort of "higher power" than myself. Because, if my life were totally in hands alone, i would not still be living. heavy enough for ya?

My boyfriend wants to head back to church, but i don't see the purpose. My spirituality does not evolve around an organized religion, it has more teleological roots. Basically, the cells and organs in my body are striving towards life. Life is rare and should not be frustrated. Life itself should be respected. that is about all i can think of at the moment.




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