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Re: Suicide 2 rayww

Posted by PTSD_Girl on September 8, 2004, at 21:35:59

In reply to Re: Suicide 2 PTSD_Girl, posted by rayww on September 8, 2004, at 12:58:15

Thank you so much for going to the effort of sending all these articles. That means a lot to me. Thank you for thinking of me.

I have been thinking that maybe I should walk over to the church in my neighborhood and speak with the pastor. Or call and have him visit me. When I was committed after I attempted suicide, I had thought of asking for a visit from a hospital minister.....but I was in crisis at the time, and really not thinking very clearly.

I like how one of the messages in your post mentioned to keep postponing it. Put it off for another day and then another day. That's difficult, you know? But that's what I've been trying to do. It was just humbling to see that others do that as well. I wish no one had to suffer.

I know God loves me. He knew what my life would be before He even created me. I am His child, and He feels for my pain. I pray He will be happy to see me when I finally come Home. But I have lost the ability to pray now. I just can't seem to talk with Him anymore. I just don't have the strength to do that. But I know He is with me. He will never leave me. I am His child, for eternity. But I don't want to throw His gift of life to me in His face. He treasured me enough to allow for my existence. He gave me this life! Who am I to throw that gift away?? But I don't know what else to do. But I'm trying. Maybe I will call that church tomorrow. Because I really don't know how many tomorrows I have left. I am blessed, though, in that I have a couple of friends in emergency services who said they will come to me at any time if I call them....and I've already let them know that I'm feeling somewhat unstable. But maybe I should call that church. I need to feel God's presence again.

Thank you for your posts. ((HUGS))





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