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I'm so scared, confused spiritually

Posted by Chris O on June 21, 2004, at 0:29:52

I am so scared and confused spiritually. As someone with a raging anxiety disorder, my relationship with the everything and everyone tends to be based on fear already. So, I don't know if I will ever adequately be able to feel at ease spiritually anyway. At any rate, I have been reading the King James Bible lately, is such a frightening book to me. I mean, my interpretation of it is essentially an evangelical one, a literal one. But in that interpretation...I don't see how anything but war, racism, sexism, and environmental destruction can result from it. Is this what our role on Earth is supposed to be? I am horrified of going to hell, and I want to do what is right. If the laws written in the Bible are what God wants for us, then I guess that is the way it has to be. Yet, I feel completely confused by the message I get from reading it. There is a strong message of non-tolerance in it, in my interpretation. It's as if in having blind faith...I gave up my ability to reason, to see people clearly, to accept them for who they are, to have compassion toward their experience of the world. It is very confusing to me. Does anyone else here have that experience? And how have you resolved it, if you have? Thanks and God bless.





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