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Re: NUMB !!

Posted by snapper on May 24, 2004, at 23:18:07

In reply to Re: NUMB !!, posted by shadows721 on May 24, 2004, at 22:27:30

> Snapper,
> I feel that I understand what you are saying. I don't ever try to tell any one even what direction to go in with spirituality, because I don't know what is the ultimate way to peace. I am still trying to accept myself depression/anxiety and all. Sometimes, I think that I just want to go out in the forest and scream and cry out all this pain. I wish that would just get all of it out of my system. I know that I am just tired of struggling with the sadness and the anger. I want to wake up in the morning and think - "Wow". I feel guilty that I am not appreciating things too. Boy, I feel like a nut.
> I just wanted to let you know that I can relate.

Hi Shadows, thanks for the reply and the understanding. I guess it is just so frustrating to see "others" who seem to make living look so easy and the fact that my depression is not being adaquetly treated right now is what ticks me off. I have a very supporting, family but at the same time it sickens me when my VERY beloved Mother says .... "God is waiting for you to come to him for answers and true healing" I know she means well but it is still dis-heartening .:(--- I have even been accused of not wanting to 'get well'--what a crock !! I too wish I could just go out into the quiet of the mountains and scream, cry, rant, cuss and get rid of all my feelings of hurts and failures, and rejections....the last time I was in the mountains I played in the stream.. and probably laughed and cried at the same time because it made me happy! That was 7 years ago and although it did not solve my depression and anxiety problems it really did truly make me FEEL like I was experiencing the majesty of God - nature....ahhhhh I just wish my brain would quiet down! I am sorry for your pain and thanks for caring enough to reach out-I want peace of mind sooooo bad - hopefully someday we may taste it again.
Best Regards





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