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extreme duality between good and evil scares me

Posted by ryan312 on March 16, 2004, at 2:39:50

Hello. I have never posted on the "faith" board before and am pretty new to dr-bob.

I know this sounds weird, but I sometimes get consumed with evil and darkness. I went through a few years of this. And when it happened, I could go on AOL and connect almost magically with other people into really dark, evil stuff.

At other times, I am 100percent spiritual and have 100's of spiritual books etc.

I feel very guilty and bad about the "dark" side of me. However, when that obsessive urge comes over me I can't focus at all on the "good" spiritual stuff and the excitement of the dark, evil stuff sucks me in.

I deal with a lot of depression from horrible childhood sexual abuse and also have really bad OCD. I am wondering if anyone else ever experiences such a "duality"?? take care. ryan




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