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Trying to Lift Up

Posted by Temmie on July 31, 2003, at 7:02:57

In reply to Mercury, Habby, I miss you, posted by Temmie on July 30, 2003, at 21:37:17

I am trying to lift up here ... but am having great problems focusing. For me, accessing the higher realms has always required a great deal of intention and focused prayer (on the positive end), reflective opening (on the meditative end). I don't seem to be doing either very well.

I have been using sleep medication to help me through these mid-life sleep-challenged years, which compounds the problems of there being no authentic clarity at night. You know ... I'm just knocked out and unconscious .... So last night I went without ... and tossed and turned all night.

Mercury, if you're reading this, you're probably disappointed beyond description that I've "gone back to" this man. Yet someone loves you, dear, and sometimes I wonder if we can't help the ones we love -- when you feel such a deep, spiritual connection.

That said, I also tossed and turned (looking at the clock most of the night) wondering/worrying about the "deep spiritual connection" I have with my child, who needs a move balanced, healthy, wholesome and present mother in this last month of our time together ....

I prayed all night. Prayed without stopping. I just want to see clearly ... say the right things ... do the right things. I want to find my anchor so I don't feel so buffeted this way and that by the winds of change.

I'm reading an interesting book, "The Jesus I Never Knew." When I have time to read that is ... just a few minutes here and there. I'm really going to have to start pulling things together here ....

Whether or not Paul is using coke remains to be seen. That, and infidelity is where I draw the line. I'm going to have to be faith-based strong, which is why I've moved back to this site .... I welcome support and encouragement from all those trying to lift up and live more consciously and more carefully. Peace, Temmie




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