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re: Dear Habby ... habbyshabit

Posted by lil' jimi on July 11, 2003, at 19:03:28

In reply to Dear Jim, if only briefly lil' jimi, posted by habbyshabit on July 11, 2003, at 17:04:27

hi Habby,
hi Arlon,

this post from you is wonderful ... thanks ...

> I need to get to the grocery store (busy,busy) but took the time to read all your posts, and mercury's. Please know my heart is with you in your grief. My Mother died last June 19, and I just celebrated her Hebrew Yahrzeit on July 9th. My father's Hebrew Yahrzeit falls on July 22nd this year ( corresponding to the Hebrew calender ), which is my birthday. His regular calendar death was July 17. In a way, I celebrate their lives, and remember their deaths, twice each year. My Dad died when I was 5. So I am an orhpan too!

the calendars' dates can haunt us ... ... recently my wife pointed out ("again" she said; news to me!)
that her mother died on june 11th, 15 yrears ago now .... .... my dad died on june 11th last year ...

> What I know about the grieving process, in my experience, is that it comes in waves. I had times when the 'go' button wouldn't turn on. I just couldn't motivate to do anything much at all. A lot of grieving does feel very much like depression, but it's really GRIEVING! I'm not sure if you have a history of depression or not.

i thank you for such beautiful sharing ... ... i have not had a history of depression (as near as i can tell), until this episode ... ...

> I know from my own experience major, clinical depression and I could feel the similarities and differences as I moved through the loss of my Mom last year. In the Jewish Tradition, they expect the grieving process to last at least a year. They don't even erect a headstone on the grave until the first anniversary of the death. At least the orthodox don't.

my gp said that i had had 9 months and the expectation was to recover in 6 months ... i hadn't, ergo lexapro ... i mention this for its comedic contrast to the wisdom of thousands of years of Jewish tradition ... and i laugh at myself, HA! ... ... i thank you; i needed that!

> I just wanted to respond right away to your incredible loss and let you know that I empathize with the sense of void and tragedy that losing beloved parents brings.

thank you very much, kind spirit!

> That was a great recap of your Buddhist awakening and I know Arlon will have a response. I just have to find ( make ) the time for them to address your situation. I am deeply honored that you would request their views.

thank you for the compliment ... i blush .. and it is i who is honored ... ... by this contact

do understand that i feel that (what are to me, in my small perspective) a strange series of blessings have eventuated for me, which i have detailed ... and i feel that you, my new friend, are the latest blessing in this series ... ... how utterly exotic to be blessed with being able to connect with you and Arlon through such remote and isolated means? ... ... what would be the odds of this contact?
... ... for me, it is all strange, beautiful and powerfully poignant ... ...

> Did you know that the Dalai Lama has a 'state medium'? That there has always been one in the Galupa tradition and that all the Dalai Lamas have consulted them? Interesting, no?
> Much Love,
> Habby

... ... no, i did not know that ...

... when , i believe it was kublai khan, invaded tibet, he kidnapped the master lama of tibet and took him back to mongolia ... ... but instead of subjecting tibet to his renowned wrath ... the khan was conveted by the lama ... ... and to this day, all mongolians are buddhsts devoted to the lama, who the khan titled "dalai", and has been hence known to us as the dalai lama ... ... i am told that the word 'dalai' translates as "ocean" in mongolian , a curiousity for a land-locked state such as mongolia , or tibet ... ... until we consider possible oceanic references to the buddha sky ... maybe ...

it would please me the most if you would exercise your contact with Arlon only in the fullness of time ... ... ... it would be uncomfortable to consider this under anything like 'hurry' .... ... any easy pace at all ... for me, the slower the better ... ... i have been letting some mysteries stew for 20 or 30 years ... ... as you and Arlon see fit ... ... .. all in good time ...

... ... we are further blessed that we may correspond here at our leisure ... ... let us feel free to do exactly that ...

... let me also repeat my comment to Mercury that i feel no distress about my parents' well-being ... ... .. i am blessed with the confidence that they are well ... ... ...

... i have felt a huge sense of caution from having their deaths come to preclude what seemed to be such an obvious step on the Path for me ... ... it is as if things that could not be in conflict were/are in opposition ... ... somehow? ... ... this is the mystery i would bother you and Arlon with ... please ...

... i thank you for reading my long post about my faith ... ... (and i thank Dr. Bob for having this on the pBab Faith board ... here he has established a mandate "to be supportive" of faith and religion ... ... therefore it would uncivil (aka not to be tolerated) to have others be abrasive about our beliefs ... ... and that makes this safer here than, say, on the pSocial board ... i appreciate that ... ... thank you, Dr. Bob ... again.)

have a good time Habby!
~ jim




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