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Re: To Mercury and Temmie

Posted by habbyshabit on June 29, 2003, at 11:34:07

In reply to To Mercury and Temmie, posted by habbyshabit on June 28, 2003, at 23:57:03


Temmie, that first paragraph in my last post was meant for you, not Mercury. It was late, I had been online for too long and I got your two posts mixed up, name wise, in my mind. You both wrote such honest and deeply felt posts, that I was swept away. Hope both of you understand.

Again, Temmie, I have had many mystical and spiritual experiences in my time, all of which I am grateful for - none of which I'll ever know was real or imagined I guess. A well known Tibetan Teacher, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche taught and wrote about 'spiritual materialism'. I was fortunate to come across this wisdom young enough to not get to caught up in the visions or to let them become stumbling blocks to deep awareness. Experiences of that nature can be so captivating and ego inflating. It sounds like you have also avoided or transcended those obstacles with the experiences you have had.

The flip side of that coin is that, having had such experiences, we are changed forever. There's no going back to previous illusions/delusions and the world view we had prior to touching something 'divine', other, or unseen. The hard part of this transformation of awareness is that few share it. Some claim to but, after deeper conversation, it becomes clear that they are, well, "spiritual materialists" and stuck in a level of awareness not quite as deep as one's own. I guess I should 'own' all this and say, that this is just my experience. There is no judgments on my part for anyone who's not "been there, learned that", just a vague feeling of not really being able to reveal my deepest, best, self. A feeling of not really being seen for who I really am at heart. Though I think others can feel this aspect of my self, since it is the loving and kind nature I greet them with, they can’t really communicate with me there. That's a kind of loneliness that's hard to describe. I feel I've lived this way for a long time now. I've tried to find spiritual community that fits to fill this void many times over the years. I even attended the Mormon Church for a time this past fall to learn their tenets and see if somehow I could mesh. Not. That may be my last attempt.

I find solace in the Channelings on line from Kryon. They speaks of us old Lightworkers as Lighthouses, out on lonely rocky reaches, spreading light without knowing who is using it to find a safer shore. At least there, in those writings, I can see myself in my own light and feel a part of something larger going on.

I need to go for now. Mercury, I’d like to respond to your post with the care a little free time allows. Thank you both for being so honest and open and willing to put your selves on line.
I’ll be back later…

In All Love,




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