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Re: Mental Illnesses and Faith Communities mair

Posted by 2sense on June 4, 2002, at 12:02:19

In reply to Re: Mental Illnesses and Faith Communities 2sense, posted by mair on June 3, 2002, at 22:08:25

There really are no ideals -- support for me within a church body would be awareness and offering to off load the everyday -- but mostly being able to on a regular basis (in the best of worlds a more sanctified mentor who had been along a similar route but ...) to sit and pray with a small group of believers, to study the bible where it addresses more specifically the issues I am facing (Job is often pointed to, and there are many out there, my mother at the forefront, who believe I did something to deserve this -- there is another man who believe (and I do not believe this, nor am I comfortable WHATSOEVER with his take -- I have known he and his wife for 6+ years -- they are my friends, do not go to an organized church but meet with a small group to study the bible, be supportive and pray with one another for one another and others) he believes God is using me to show others, with or without faith, that it can be done -- a lot of continually suffering, constant, without a lot of support (my parents live 350 miles away -- the closest in 20+ years -- this was not my or their choice) but the choices of my husbands. My ex was very physically abusive to me and they always quoted I Peter 3 -- be more "perfect" -- and the pastors from many denominations backed them up (I lived in CO and CA back and forth for 10 years and was in therapy -- secular and Christian) but it always was that I was doing something to provoke him into beating me. After 10 years I had the courage, sort of -- I married my current husband -- we're 10 years down the road and he isn't physically abusive but verbally and emotionally and very inconsistent with his behavior) -- I don't buy that I am being punished -- I am not saying God hasn't wanted to teach me things along these years -- but support in terms of friends is difficult when most are natives and Catholic and it is much like cliques in high school where I live now; I am staying home full time for the first time these last 6+ years -- and my work was fulfilling, gave me intellectual and social stimulation which I do not have know -- so my support comes from people I come across -- having the issues I have to deal with I isolate myself more than I should, I've been burned so many times -- and the experience with the church we jointed 2 years ago (went to a year before joining -- and I didn't want to join but my husband did and I thought at the time it was a good thing, and I thought it would increase my circle of support and people I knew and that the children would have things and people, etc. and they did have a good program -- the youth pastor is excellent (we had tried other churches -- my husband is Methodist but not really brought up in the faith and I was brought up Evangelical Free but my dad's interpretation of the bible was executed in our house, period, end of the story. He is third generation Sicilian and a bit of an Etna AND my mother had 4 in 5 years and left the Catholic church and then they went to a Methodist church for a while and then the Evangelical Free and my mother had her bonus baby (my youngest sister and I are 9 years apart and I pretty much raised her -- my other sister is 14 months younger than me).

So support comes from boards such as this, but tangible people to give you a hug when you find out devastating news like you have MS and instead it is a receptionist asking for your co-pay and the doctor isn't seeing you until August and didn't answer any of your questions. I know I am wordy, I apologize -- I have the need to put things in context for fear of being misunderstood -- this is a by-product of my upbringing -- my parents were extremely critical and my dad was a workaholic and it doesn't matter because I am going to be 40 in November and a big girl and no sense in looking at the past unless it can help you move forward without hurting anyone else.

Again, just my 2sense ... Sue




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