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Re: Manda - a question Manda

Posted by 2sense on June 4, 2002, at 11:47:51

In reply to Re: Manda - a question, posted by Manda on June 4, 2002, at 0:19:51

I know you posted this to Manda, but since I have the same thought cycle regarding my prayer life and feeling guilty about feeling angry or forsaken or both because of all that has happened and seems to continue to happen.

My dad when I was around 8 told me (and I cannot recall what prompted the analogy and he still uses today with me, but even his faith is taking a hit, as with each phone call something else has happened -- yesterday BTW was no different, or this morning -- doctors and establishments of all kinds attached to them can be very difficult especially when they are so overly conscious (and intellectually I understand why, but ethically I pause when they say something I consider "spin") about their own personal liability and deciding whether or not to help me in a certain situation.)

Okay here's the analogy: Remember those small bowl like fishbowls (no stones, or tubes for bubbles, etc.) my Dad told me we, as Christians, believers in God, are like a goldfish in a little bowl on our kitchen table. The sun is setting, and we are hungry as the usual time our "owner" (i.e., God) feeds us has come and gone and time is marching on and the sun has set and the moon is out -- yet no sigh of our master. We as little goldfish do not know (and may never know -- outside of Dr. Doolittle :-) I do not know of someone who could "talk to the animals") that our master actually left work early having heard about a fish food that was more nutritious for us but in a different part of town, further from or perhaps the opposite direction of where we are (where he lives and feeds us). He is stuck in traffic for miles behind many, many cars, as there was a traffic accident. He has not forgotten us, on the contrary he went out of his way to do something very special for us -- but we have 1) no way of knowing that at time 'T' as we wait hungrily, perhaps sad and/or angry feeling forgotten, forsaken; and 2) will never know WHY he was late, as he "can't" talk to us as goldfish (i.e., there are no burning bushes or telegrams from God in a tangible way). I have hung on to this analogy for over 3 decades -- it does not always get me through but ... putting one foot in front of the other like a tightrope walker and focusing on Christ and making my mantra, "God is in control; He has a bigger plan for my life, and though my lantern is so dimmed I feel it may go out AND can barely see to put my foot in front of the one that is upfront, I must trust.

Now for me trust and dependency issues are everything and having (or perceiving) I have NO control over much of anything. Trusting with all one's heart, mind, and soul and not leaning on one's own understanding and allowing God to direct our paths INVOLVES all of that -- it, to me, anyway is the basis of the entire Christianity theology -- trusting and depending entirely on God the Father, his Son Christ, and the comforter Christ left behind, the Holy Spirit. Which I read to think about as an apple, the skin, the meat of the apple, the core -- 3 different parts but all make up a singular thing.

Just my 2sense, and not even solicited, I will keep you in my prayers.





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