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Re: 5 weeks SLS

Posted by undopaminergic on January 17, 2023, at 10:57:05

In reply to Re: 5 weeks undopaminergic, posted by SLS on January 15, 2023, at 14:26:31

> >
> > I see what you're saying. It is a reasonable hypothesis that God doesn't leave when you feel down, and that you just can't feel him. The question is why doesn't he speak to you in a way you're receptive to?
>
> I love your questions. Unfortunately, I can't provide answers to them. My (cop-out?) position is that I can't possibly know the Mind of God, and it is likely that no one ever has - not even Moses.
>

I'm sure you're right about that. I don't even have a full understanding of my *own* mind.

> People who are well-adjusted or self-actualized are comfortable with uncertainty. I don't know where that leaves me, but I can deal with not being able to call God on my cell phone whenever I want answers from Him.
>

I'd say I deal all right with uncertainty. I'm very curious, perhaps even pathologically so, and have an immense lust for knowledge, but not knowing does not tend to give me anxiety.

> I know that our conversation here would seem out of place on Psycho-Babble, but it really isn't.
>
> https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=spirituality+depression&sort=relevance
>

Well, it's not about Medication, which is the default topic. In his heyday, Dr. Bob might well have moved this to another subforum.

> > Certainly he must have the ability.
>
> I have the ability to give you all of my money, but I choose not to. You will never know why. At the very beginning of our relationship, my fiance told me that we hold God within us. I was hooked. Speaking for myself only, I actually do feel God within me. I can't define how it happens, but I do know how it feels. It is very visceral. I have learned to use "good" visceral feelings to help me distinguish between what's right for me and what's wrong for me. That includes the pondering of the mystery of existence.
>

I don't really have a God-gut-feeling. Most often, I feel him when I see or experience things that I connect with him. Sometimes, it's just a thought in my mind, but it can also be a word or number that appears somewhere outside of me "just at the right time".

> As a result of my handful of drug-induced manias, I now give people a very simple instruction for how to recognize a manic state with me. If I talk to God, that does not by itself indicate mania. It's when God talks back to me that there is a problem.
>

It's not necessarily a problem in itself. It's a problem when you do something stupid based on what (you think he's) telling you.

I have had many experiences where words came to me by inspiration. I didn't have to make anything up, or do anything at all really, but I do like to type them down in my diary. It can help me in times of need to revisit these passages.

That kind of experience happened a lot when I was using ethylphenidate.

> > I think maybe the answer is time. God has a very different perspective on time than we do: eternity. A year of depression for us can be an instant for him, at most. Maybe he doesn't even notice we're gone for that instant -- even if he does, it wouldn't alarm him.
> >
> > -undopaminergic
>
>
> You are big time deep. This conversation is a welcomed surprise. I suggest that God wouldn't be a true god if he has lapses in omniscience.
>

The way I use (capital G) God is as a shorthand for some kind of ideal. This ideal tends to include omniscience. But sometimes there are ideals that contradict each other -- how can they all be true?

Because learning new things is so important to me, I actually felt sorry for God if indeed he knows everything and can never learn anything new. Also, assuming that was true, I admired him for not killing himself rather than having to live that way for an eternity. Maybe this period of sympathy touched him in some way, because my best experiences with him came afterwards (though not immediately). I did experience a great relief after coming to know (or believe) that he's a humorous and fun-loving sort of a guy, apparently always in a good mood.

> I get the impression that you might be in the midst of an existential crisis.
>

Interesting impression. I wouldn't say I am.

> I understand how serious you are.
>

I tend to take everything too seriously when I'm not at my best. I think the key is balance.

> I hope you find your healing in treatment with whatever works.

Thanks, I wish you luck in keeping that remission going!

> I can all but guarantee that it will be much easier for you to come up with your own, unique answers.
>

As opposed to searching for some kind of "Guru" to give me the answers?

> Remember, you have the rest of your life to toy with ideas without having to be certain about any of them. As far as a methodology is concerned, I began with - If it feels right, it probably is. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If you feel nothing, consider giving more time to deliberate your conclusions and decisions. You may have to rely upon your skills of critical thinking. We all do.
>

I sometimes followed the methodology of "if it works on rats, maybe it will work for me". I remember in particular the idea of using amantadine as augmentation for an antidepressant.

> Good luck.
>

Thanks, and the same to you.

-undopaminergic


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:undopaminergic thread:1121301
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20230117/msgs/1121576.html