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Re: I have survivor's guilt. jay2112

Posted by SLS on November 19, 2022, at 19:56:08

In reply to Re: I have survivor's guilt. SLS, posted by jay2112 on November 19, 2022, at 14:30:51

> > I often experience survivor's guilt when I visit Psycho-Babble.
> >
> > I just thought you should know.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
> >
>
> Scott,
>
> Best thing you can do is listen, non-judgementally (not saying you don't) to anyone/everyone. We are ALL in recovery.
>
> Jay
>


That's not where I was headed, Jay.

It is with great sadness and a deep sense of guilt that I read this board knowing that I now have my freedom. Yet, I look back to see everyone else still imprisoned. This is an emotional issue that I need to process and come to accept.

I wasn't looking for ways to deal with my survivor's guilt. I wasn't looking for ways to interact with others. I just wanted it to be known that I was experiencing it. I am reluctant to say this, but I am looking back at all of you who remain ill, and I say, "Why me? Why not anyone else?". With a mind of increasing clarity, I see the true magnitude of our tragedy. I was a member of that tragedy for decades. My sense of good fortune leaves me aching that others should find theirs, too.

I still have the disease. I am not "cured", even though it sure feels like it. I am only in remission. I could relapse before I finish writing this sentence.

I would be a very selfish and ungrateful person were I not to want to bring everyone else along with me. My spirituality very much compels me to remain part of this community. The only thing separating me from you is dumb luck.


- Scott


Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

 

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poster:SLS thread:1121067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220917/msgs/1121093.html