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Why do I have to coax people to be my friend??

Posted by Jay2112 on September 30, 2021, at 21:17:20

I just don't understand. Seems like I have to spend money on others, and they might be nice, and 'maybe' a friend to me. When I do unto others, maybe they will talk to me.

So, for example, a friend that I knew from highschool, will talk to me only when I text/talk to him. I just got some extra money to go back to university. I took him out for a nice dinner and drinks, and paid the bill...just because I thought it would be a nice and kind thing to do. Afterwards..I didn't hear zip from him. No text, no nothing. He has a beautiful family, great job, all that. So, he was driving the bus I was on today. He see's me swipe my university card to get on the bus. He say's "Oh, mister bigshot university guy..". I tried to joke, and the whole time, he just seems annoyed with me. So, I exit the bus, he doesn't even say "bye".

Other people, except my little family, same thing. Someone made the comment (many times, actually) that I was too "depressing". I am a very outgoing, socially happy guy, despite being a bit overweight. I am self-deprecating, humble...but the only way people seem to like me is when I give them "things", spend money on them, having to do this or that for them. I get treated like some hobo bum, because I don't own a home, or drive, or don't work full-time. (I am on disability, but working on my second university degree. I get good grants because of my grades and disability, to go to school. But, 'friends' and women think I should be 100 percent 'established', etc, etc. Being intelligent and kind doesn't seem to count for much :(

Well, that's my pity party for today. But, hey, my cat loves me, and I have a brother and his family who do too. <deep, deep sigh>....

Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
-Don Miguel Ruiz-




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