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You are right, Lambdage. + My early years. Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on August 23, 2021, at 8:36:05

In reply to Re: I am disappointed, to say the least., posted by Lamdage22 on August 23, 2021, at 0:18:36

Lambdage:

> I wish you well. Always have. There aren't so many posters anymore.

Thanks.


You are right, Lambdage. I was probably premature in my disappointment. It's just that I have been here since 1999, living a life of torturous pain and numbness, like so many others have and are currently.

I was riddled with guilt when I first started responding to treatment. I was very sad to have the feeling that I had found a new life with treatment while so few here have over this same period of time - over two decades. I genuinely wanted to bring everyone else with me.

Thank God that there are still incredibly intelligent and resourceful people to help lead the Psycho-Babble community. Throughout its existence, Psycho-Babble has been perhaps the single best Internet forum for the presentation of the latest research along with the sophistication of thought to render novel theories.

The lesson I hoped everyone would learn from me is that there is always hope - and that you never know when you will strike gold with a life-changing treatment. A rebirth into a new awareness is worth working for. Please - everyone - don't give up, especially when you already have. I had an advantage, though. Every now and then, I was given a brief demonstration of what life could be in the absence of depression when I experienced brief remissions. I was also an "ultra-rapid" cycler for two years until I was treated with lithium for the first time. Thereafter, my experience was one to constant depression. However, during those two years, I got to see the profound differences in the two states of consciousness every 11 days. I was in a unique position to be able to compare the differencest between depression and remission. I was actually fascinated by the psychobiology of these brain disorders. Being fascinated by the biological underpinnings of the disease that we find such perpetual pain and oppression in is, ironically, what so many of us experience here.

I began decades of pain, struggle, and frustration with the innumerable failed treatments during which I had several three-day total treatment-emergent remissions. I have made it to today by clutching tightly to memories of those times. The period of my cycle was an unwavering 11 days: 8 days of depression followed by 3 days (not 2 or 4 days) of near-remission. Once I recognized this cycle by having read the book, "Mood Swing" by R. R. Fieve (1975), I kept a social calendar around it. Fieve was the first research doctor to bring lithium to America and work to have it approved by the FDA in 1970. He had been working with lithium since the 1950s.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/12/obituaries/dr-ronald-fieve-87-dies-pioneered-lithium-to-treat-mood-swings.html

It was an amazing coincidence that I saw his name on one of the doors while sitting in the waiting room for my very first visit to a psychiatrist. I was accepted into the research program at Columbia Presbyterian / New York Psychiatric Institute in 1982. All they had to work with were MAOIs, tricyclics, and lithium. Later, I was one of the first people in the U.S. to be treated with experimental serotonin reuptake inhibitors and releasers in 1983. They came from France (Pharmaca Pharmaceuticals). SSRIs never really helped, with the exception of a brief improvement while taking Zoloft (sertraline) help. My doctor from Columbia had moved to Pfizer and helped conduct the clinical trials to get Zoloft approved by the FDA. Small world.

I was very, very angry to discover that my moods and thoughts were beyond my control to work through, and that feeling profoundly depressed and non-functional as a human being was biological rather than psychological. I would have gone to psychotherapy three times a day if it meant not being tethered to a chemical in order to live life normally.


*******************

LAMBDAGE - I have been delighted to watch you grow through the years. Really. Sometimes, others see more change in someone than they see in themselves.

*******************


- Scott


Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

 

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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:SLS thread:1116523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20210723/msgs/1116649.html