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Re: I am petrified of saying 'no' to people. Hope. jay2112

Posted by SLS on July 1, 2021, at 21:06:59

In reply to Re: I am petrified of saying 'no' to people. Hope. SLS, posted by jay2112 on July 1, 2021, at 13:35:21

Hi, Jay.

> Scott, thanks for the smile! We definitely need more, much more, of those. :)

Not everyone gets my jokes. Said another way, I overestimate my ability to make others laugh.

> The psychological approach of Self-Actualization was taught to me, as part of therapy, when I was a Social Work student in college, back in 1988. It is actually part of, and at the top, of Maslow's 'Hierarchy of Needs'. It is a great model, a triangle, (I am explaining this it for complete understanding.) with the bottom being basic needs, like shelter, food, etc. The ultimate is to move up the triangle (like a scale)and after all the needs are met, you get Self Actualization, at the top. The reason for the triangle/scale, is that many people, especially poor people, are limited in moving up the scale. They don't have their basic needs met, and are scared about money, shelter, etc.

OMG! Excellent!

I am so happy to see Maslow's hierarchy of needs used clinically. Wow.

> But, it seems in your situation, that is not the case. The model also talks about "Love and Belonging", which is third from Self-Actualization (ok, I am explaining the, and would fit in your case, and above that is Self Esteem, which I think may fir in your case too. (No offence meant, of course) :) One notch up from Self Esteem, at the top, is Self Actualization..the "Goal". The idea is to go up the scale, but, of course, people move around in the scale.
> I use the Maslow model in my work with addictions and mental health. Sadly, most of my younger colleagues don't. It is just one model, but is majorly important, and useful, in psychotherapy.
> So, I hope that helps you a bit. Still, look the Maslow model up. (Abraham Maslow was the theorist)
> I am trained in psychotherapy (not advertising! lol), an MSW, if you would be interested in a few (free) sessions, via Zoom or Skype, or having them in a chat session (or telephone). No pressure. :)
> Take care!
> Jay

Thank you so much for your explanations. Is there some kind of questionnaire or rating system to determine where one can place themselves along the hierarchy? I understand that things are fluid. It might be helpful to me.

Things are so much easier, now that I continue to improve (bipolar depression). Depression is a beast without favorites.


- Scott

Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.




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