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Re: Scott (pretty long post) baseball55

Posted by SLS on February 7, 2014, at 5:56:11

In reply to Re: Scott (pretty long post), posted by baseball55 on February 6, 2014, at 23:01:33

> > But see, this is why I keep replying. I want to feel more suicidal. I want to have the motivation to follow through with it. Me hearing more and more misunderstanding from people, helps increase my suicidal thoughts. Some time ago I figured I would have followed through with it by now. But, I'm still here!
> >
> > Write some more back to me, Eric.

> This is a very disturbing post. So the more people respond and fail to completely validate your perception, the more you become depressed and want to commit suicide? And you keep posting to elicit what you see as unhelpful responses to make yourself more depressed so as to increase your motivation to commit suicide?
>
> Well, I, for one, opt out of this game. If you want to commit suicide, I can't stop you and I hope, for your sake, that you don't make this decision. But I'm certainly not going to participate in a conversation in which you perceive yourself as constantly misunderstood and driven by others' misunderstanding to commit suicide.

It is hard for me to know what is best for Poser. I think he is frustrated, demoralized, tired, weak, and getting desperate. I remember being in a similar place myself. I don't completely understand the dynamics, but I wanted to blame the world (all of existence; God) for my unrelenting pain. I wanted the pain to end. Suicide might be one way to accomplish this. It felt good to consider the relief that suicide would bring. However, I didn't want to be responsible for pushing myself over the edge so as to actually do it. I wanted to be pushed by someone else so that I don't take the blame. Perhaps I wanted to hurt someone else - maybe even God - because I was hurt by the world (God). It was not fair to be born this way. I wanted everyone else to pay for my misery.

I guess one could look at what Poser is doing as playing a game of sorts. I see it as being a call for help. He might want us to know that he is nearing the precipice. He doesn't know what else to do. Actually, he did verbalize an intention to keep fighting. Poser can't help himself but to keep trying. Poser is a survivor. In his mind, this could be a blessing and a curse.


- Scott


Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

- George Bernard Shaw

 

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