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Re: What Is Passive Suicide? Cecilia

Posted by SLS on June 1, 2012, at 7:36:27

In reply to Re: What Is Passive Suicide?, posted by Cecilia on June 1, 2012, at 4:54:43

If it means anything to you, I recognize how horrendous your life has been. One of the things that helped me stay alive was the fact that I had experienced some brief (3 days) responses to antidepressants and one longer period (9 months) in remission. Ever since my first response to imipramine in 1982, I have held tightly to the memories of these these brief "awakenings". During these times, I became convinced that a life without depression was worth living. How enriching, rewarding, and exciting it can be - fun, even. You have never experienced these things in your life. This tugs at my heart. It is not fair.

There is no lack of bravery in choosing to survive depression and endure the gray, depressed mood, melancholic thoughts, lack of vitality, frustration, anxiety, and the psychic pain. I hear many say that it is a coward who avoids suicide. I have been suicidal a few times myself. I, too, felt that I was somehow weak for not following through with it. I was simply too afraid for my consciousness to reach its irrevocable end. Interestingly, I never made a plan to commit suicide. I wouldn't know how to go about it. Most times, I fought hard against thoughts of suicide. I don't like losing. I refused to do the research necessary to figure out the most assured and painless method to euthanize myself, regardless of how humane that might be.

I am not so much afraid of death as I am of never having lived.

> Prasozin is an interesting idea; I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD, though I certainly had a lousy childhood.

My doctor makes a distinction between PTSD resulting from acute traumatic events and PTSD resulting from chronic abuse and neglect. He calls this "developmental PTSD". Neglect, in particular, can be a potent inducer of depression. Essentially, my doctor is of the belief that this developmental PTSD is what can drive certain cases of depression, even though no direct connection is perceived by the afflicted person. In my way of thinking, it is because the young brain develops within the milieu of this chronic abuse and neglect. The result is a derangement in the dynamics of those circuits involved in mood and cognition. Once it emerges, the depression becomes self-reinforcing biologically, and grows beyond any sense of childhood trauma and neglect that might yet be unresolved psychologically. In many cases, even when these issues are resolved, the depression persists biologically when it is too late for the brain circuits to be easily rerouted and reregulated. An older brain is less plastic than a young brain. The earlier psychotherapy is applied, the greater are the chances that persistent positive changes can be made.

It is possible that prazosin will demonstrate usefulness in treating developmental PTSD depression as it is now recognized for treating other forms of PTSD. Prazosin is a relatively benign drug. For most people, I doubt tolerability will be an issue with its use. Startup side effects can include dizziness, fatigue, muscle weakness, and somnolence. I found that these things disappeared after one or two weeks. Prazosin might be more effective as an augmenter of antidepressants than it is as monotherapy. For me, prazosin doesn't work unless I continue to take the other drugs in my treatment regime.

I truly hope that you are able to find reasons that allow you to renew the positive energy you once had to pursue an effective treatment for your depression. When the reservoir runs dry and the positive attitude is beaten out of you, this is very difficult. It won't happen overnight.

I wish I could do more.

I wish you good luck in all that you choose to do.


- Scott


Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

- George Bernard Shaw

 

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poster:SLS thread:1018788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120522/msgs/1019044.html