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Re: Sould i be feeling something from Burspar?

Posted by b2chica on March 22, 2012, at 13:07:24

In reply to Re: Sould i be feeling something from Burspar?, posted by mogger on March 21, 2012, at 10:51:06

feel. ok.
i am taking 15mg TID
i tend to feel better anxiety wise, down to a low roar that gabapentin can fill in the blanks and stop it for most of the day.
however, i am feeling more run down when on it. still have a little depressive feelings as well, but only minor compared to what i've felt before. and have some constipation too. that's no fun.

i think i'll keep it another month and once things calm down a little in my life then i can taper off it. normally when sun shining and nice weather helps. plus can walk outside more.

but for now i'll keep it going. i left a note for my pdoc last friday to see if i can go down a little due to lethargy and low mood but i haven't heard back.

the biggest stress now in my life...and feel free to stop reading here as i just have to get this off my chest somewhere and to someone.
My oldest daughter (5 years) has been dx with severe nut allergy. we went back in to get her retested monday for her pre-Kindergarten check and she had quite a severe reaction inhis office. she ended up breaking out not only on the spots he tested but broke out in large hives all over her back. also three of her vertebra swelled up as it leaked on that area. Then after that
went down (after benadryl) Tuesday she broke out again on her back this time it looked more like prickly heat rash but it covered her back. i called doc and they FINALLY called me back wed. and she is now on zyrtec for 5 days....

The severity of her reaction in the doc office has scared the sh&t out of me. I broke down that night in the bathroom by myself.
She is such a gentle soul, so intelligent, so gentle, so compassionate of others. i am SO f-ing scared for her.
and yes i get that part of this is me exaccerbating my anxiety, but its real. and the reality hit me when i saw that reaction. Even the doctor was surprised and concerned as he moved quickly as soon as he saw her back to check other parts of her and to get her benadryl.

Anyway. i have to honestly just set that aside right now.
The strange thing is that a girl i worked with was pregnant the same time as me. mine born in jan and hers born in july. both have severe nut allergies. however she now lives in another state and i only hear from her once in a while. i wish i knew personally other mom's that deal with this...

i feel like she goes through so much. she never cries at her doc appt. she always gets poked and proded. she has asthma and allergies, she's already had her first er visit with the flu. vomiting wouldn't stop so she had to have IV fluids. never cried, never moved during whole thing. She had to have one of her front teeth extracted a couple months ago due to an accident at daycare a year and half ago.
she's amazing and she's only 5.

I cant even explain how much i love her and how hurt i feel for her to have to go through these things. now i really know what people mean when they tell someone that they wish they could go through it for them. with all my might i would take it on in a heart beat!

ok. so there are my guts for the day. just spilled out.
thank you and now i'm going to go lock my door as i start to cry.


"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke




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