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situational depression may be my problem

Posted by sukarno on April 4, 2010, at 13:20:25

In reply to Re: I doubt I will ever fully recover linkadge, posted by bulldog2 on April 4, 2010, at 11:40:22

I guess the good thing I can report is that - in the days when I wasn't couped up at home and had a car and would drive everyday - getting exposure to plenty of natural sunlight and social activities pretty much eliminated any depressive symptoms I had. Even if I felt bad at night, a long drive (200 miles round-trip) with the sunroof open at night and nice music playing would also bring relief. I loved to be on the road. Staying in one place tends to trigger my depression.

The best relief I ever obtained without drugs was when I was delivering newspapers early in the morning as the sun was rising. It was about an hour of physical activity and that exercise along with the early morning sun markedly reduced my anxious and depressive symptoms. I felt like a new person and it only got better the longer I kept doing that. I had to give it up though when the weather became far too cold (sub-zero).

So, thinking of this, even though this was back in the 1990s when I had a car (which I don't now and haven't had one for 9 years), gives me hope that I don't really _need_ drugs to overcome my depression.

It is just that this situation is driving me nuts and I need pills to get through it. (living in a dark house.. weather too hot to venture outside... not knowing the local language enough to develop social bonds with people... no car... stuck inside all the time on my computer)

I hope that someday I can get out of this country or at least find a higher elevation where the weather is far cooler (unfortunately those areas are populated by the wealthy expatriates so I can't afford to live there).

I have my mind set on a country more affordable to travel to such as Australia or New Zealand. New Zealand would be preferable due to its relatively cool climate year round (especially in the southern part). I could then venture out, make friends since we all speak English and get better without drugs.

This is the thought that keeps me going. I feel though that light therapy is the only thing that has kept me going. Stablon is far too weak on its own when living in a dark house and also being isolated from society. I'm sure Stablon would be efficacious if one was able to venture out and socialise with others.


diazepam (Valium) 5mg QID
tianeptine (Stablon) 12.5mg TID
Light therapy 3 hours/day
GNC Ultra Mega Gold vitamin supplement, BID

Dx: panic disorder, MDD (unipolar, melancholia), perfectionist


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poster:sukarno thread:941785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100328/msgs/942161.html