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Re: MARPLAN - Should I give it another try? Going nuts Cseagraves

Posted by rvanson on March 12, 2009, at 20:01:15

In reply to MARPLAN - Should I give it another try? Going nuts, posted by Cseagraves on March 11, 2009, at 16:29:53

> Hi to all.
>
> Was interested in some opinions.
>
> I know that many of you have seen me go through my ups and downs with meds several times on this board. One of the last I tried was Marplan. This has been awhile ago. Over a month and now have only been on xanax for maintenance.
>
> After being on Marplan for four days at just 10mgs in the morning, by the fourth night I felt awful and like I just wanted to die. Not suicidal, but wanting to die.
>
> I feel like I have tried everything, but feel so awful now, I don't know what to do anymore. Started 5-htp today and saw a therapist yesterday (starting CBT).
>
> I've had so many different diagnosis. It seems a combination of so many things.
>
> General Anxiety Disorder
> Social Phobia
> Panic Disorder
> Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
> Depression
>
> What I feel like:
>
> I am in a constant state of flight or fright and it is wearing me down so bad. I am so tired of feeling like all is hopeless. I have this relentless fear of death and dying. Like all is lost. I have lost interest and motivation in everything. My stomach is in knots all the time and constantly hurts. I seem sensitive to everything (sounds, noises). I don't want to give up. I am only 41 and feel like I am never going to shake this negativity.
>
> Have read everything on line on anxiety disorders, panic, phobias and fears, depression, how to overcome hopelessness. Don't know what else to try or what else to do.
>
> All of this has seem to come on so quickly. This agoraphobia and intense fear is driving me crazy. I want to live out a nice long life with my husband and kids, but feel like my life will be ending very shortly.
>
> Don't want to go to a psych ward. From what I've heard and seen, it wouldn't do me much good and we have no insurance anyway.
>
> Can't stop shaking and feeling fearful. CPT therapist told me to write down what I am feeling and thinking before, during and after a anxiety attack. Problem is that I feel anxietal all the time and I have no clue why. Can't shake this feeling of impending doom. Like I know there just has to be something wrong with me physically and I'm going to die since meds don't seem to work.
>
> Have gone to family doctor and had every test run. Everything seems fine physically, what the hell is wrong with me.
>
> I am so desperate for something to work and help me to be back part of the real world. I just want to live and be happy. I want to watch my children grow up and I want to grow old with my husband. I want to get over this fear of dying, and be able to live my life to the fullest.
>
> I want to stop all the brain chatter about things I can't control from my past or my future. Why can't I just live my life day to day and be happy. I have become so focused on death and dying that I have fully stopped living.
>
> I used to care about how I looked and now I don't. I use to keep my house clean, now I don't. It's not that I don't care, I just have absolutely no motivation. My husband has had to take up so much of the slack and I feel so guilty. He's a really good man and he deserves so much better than what I have become. I am no longer the person he married. He is trying so hard to be understanding, but I am sure that any one would get tired of this after some time.
>
> And if he left me, what would I do. I can't work like this. I would lose everything that is precious, but its like I am on this downward spiral and can't pull out.
>
> I know that ssri's dont work. I'm not sure why, but my anxieties seem to override them.
>
> I keep reading about the maoi's and wondering if I should give them another try. Maybe because I am so paranoid about everything I put in my mouth,I caused my own anxiety when I took the Marplan.
>
> I'm sure that alot of this is because I want a quick fix. I have lost so much already and want myself back. I feel so disconnected to the world right now. Where did I go?
>
> I have been meditating, praying, seeing pdoc, researching.
>
> It has been absolutely beautiful here the last couple of days and everyday I tell myself to get out and walk around outside, but when I think about it, this overwhelming fear comes over me and I don't know why. I use to walk five miles almost everyday a couple of years ago. What happened?
>
> Could an maoi help with this ya think? Anyone got any suggestions. I swear I am falling apart at the seams right now. Don't know what else to do.
>
> Please help.
>
> Courtney

IME, SSRI drugs don't do much for anxiety related conditions or phobias. The Pdocs WANT them too, but that's just not the case in most instances.

What other meds have you taken? Any of the old tric-cyclics?

Any MAOI's ?

How about benzodiazapine tranquilizers?


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