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Re: Nardillians - lend me your ears Quintal

Posted by Treehugger on September 11, 2008, at 12:23:28

In reply to Re: Nardillians - lend me your ears Treehugger, posted by Quintal on September 11, 2008, at 9:25:32

Q - I am on Clonazepam now, & have been for about 5 years. Right now I have dropped from 1.5 to 1.25 - been about a week, and I feel worse of course. I have tried so many times to "kick it", but getting close one time .125 doesn't cut it. I speak my mind a little too much with C, I usually say that I need to turn on my edit switch. I think there is a difference in that respect between C & N - I don't know about being all warm and fuzzy & full of love - actually that just happens sometimes spontaneously & it is a trip. I would say the freedon I felt with Nardil was more of a positive thing than it is with Clonazepam. Actually I have thought for many years that my life would make a good movie (a downer, unless there is still that unlikely breakthru to come). It is very sad, I think, to have a lot of talent & not be able to use it - I have cried about it many times, even kind of as an observer of the CURSE. A therapist said to me once (if any bearing, it was a woman) that she would make the tradeoff, sex for my life as a musician. To me sex is much more complex than in the way, I believe, she was responding - she made it too simple. One can make love for sure without intercourse or orgasm, but it feels like there is something very natural in us that feels sad to be without the "whole enchilada" There are worse things, for sure. Like I said it is about feelin alive, to make love to someone you love & have it all work & that is beautiful. Anorgasmia, actually reduces it to the physical, trying so hard to make it happen. I don't need to feel insecure about anything else! If something like Tramadol would work like C in the good ways, and I could stay at a pretty steady dose - fxxx, I'm 64, what does it matter if I am addictied to an opiate - nothing could really be worse than the dead end of benzos, & the withdrawal!!!!!!!! If the old Nardil were to reappear, I would do it - I need to make music! Life is not always sweet. And HI to Liliths & Mjbogdanov if you are listening. Later, Tree

ps - (edit switch off)! To those who think benzos are not "addicting", use whatever words you want to make it feel better, but whether it comes from the street corner or the corner pharmacy, - if you have withdrawal "You Are Addicted"


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poster:Treehugger thread:851061
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080903/msgs/851506.html