Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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I'm angry because............

Posted by deniseuk190466 on September 4, 2007, at 18:32:15

I'm angry because.

I feel as though I have been cheated out of the last six years.

Chronic Depression is still not seen as a real illness and I think many people see it as being self inflicted in a way. I didn't do this to myself! Well at least I don't think I did.

There are hardly any charities out there for mental health research, how many times do you see people out there with tins collecting for depression, anxiety, OCD etc. I'd start a collection myself but I think I'd be alone what I'd raise would hardly be worth it.

The UK NHS Mental Health pisses me off. They geared towards CBT now for depression and anxiety and yet where I live, there is a waiting time of over a year, I've had to wait over a year to have a treatment that I don't even think will work but I'll give it a try anyway.

This Doctor I sometimes see who sees himself as an expert in Psychiatry, who told me that I wasn't depressed I had a personality disorder because "you are always like this whenever I see you" well that's because when I come and see you I am feeling f*cking depressed, fool.

The same Doctor told me that I was lucky to get CBT at all when I complained to him about the year long wait, like I should be grateful.

When I have complained about feeling suicidal in the past to psychiatrist Secretaries (which hasn't been often), I've been told that the psychiatrist is busy can you ring back another time!

Arrogant, insensitive Professor at Willow View Day Care Centre who told me that I wasn't depressed, just very unhappy and just go live with it really. And when I told him that Zyprexa had helped in the past he said "well so would a so many grams of Cocaine, like I was some sort of junkie looking for a high.

The same Professor told me that what I wanted didn't exist. Oh right so it's unnatural to look forward to things, like holidays, shopping for nice things etc. None of the things which I seem to enjoy anymore!

I'm angry because I wrote to "Depression Alliance" two weeks ago and they haven't even bothered to respond!

I'm angry because I asked my psychiatrist about any trials for new drugs, looking for some hope on the horizon and she just said well she didn't know of any and then when I asked her how she usually found out about trials she just said she didn't. She was never made aware of any trials!

I'm angry because when I go to see my psychiatrist sometimes she's an hour late (through no fault of her own, just because she is so busy) and then when I do get to see her I feel obliged to rush out of guilt because I know somebody else is waiting outside.

I'm angry because I know I am suffering from something but I sometimes doubt it because I'm so used to feeling this way I don't know anything else. If it wasn't for Zyprexa which does make me feel better in a strange kind of way I wouldn't really know any different.

I'm sick of doing temp work and covering for people who are going off on their holls, when am I going to have my holiday.

Maybe I should stop complaining and take a Zyprexa because then I wouldn't feel so angry but I this is how it would be constantly without Zyprexa and I don't know why.

I mean if you had a constant headache, hopefully you can take a pill to take the headache away but wouldn't you still want to know what was causing the headache? Or doesn't it really matter.

They were supposed to be doing trials for Deep Brain Stimulation over a year ago in the UK but as far as I know they haven't happened and nobody will say why. Fair enough if it was far too risky and the adverse affects were too great but I have written to Bristol and they don't bother responding either. But then why should they.

At This Willow Care Day Centre they seemed to be of the opinion that for anyone with straight forward depression, medication wasn't the answer and they kept ramming that opinion down people's throats and yet medication gave me 10 years of happiness I never would have had without it! They also seemed to be congratulating themselves on how well this woman was doing but she was only feeling better because she was taking medication and it was working for her!

When I said during group therapy that I didn't seem to enjoy anything, the nurse said "I must be stopping myself from enjoying things!" She was a lovely person as were many of the nurses there but some of the things they came out with just showed me that they had no real understanding of this condition. Maybe I'm wrong though and CBT will prove me wrong when I eventually get to have it.

I know that compared to some countries like third world countries I am very fortunate to live where I live, I do realise that but having said that I don't live in a third world country, and I can't judge things by their standards and just think myself lucky.





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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

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