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Re: Still no cure for my depression - tried everyt

Posted by Enigma on August 13, 2007, at 12:05:57

In reply to Re: Still no cure for my depression - tried everyt, posted by stargazer2 on August 11, 2007, at 18:08:37

> Enigma, I am in your place with the exception of trying ECT and that is where I drew the line with the treatments I have undergone. I worked in ECT and never felt good about the results I saw.

I called a couple days ago and left a message to cancel my remaining ect's. Then, since then, I had 3 semi-good days in a row, with no meds, which is very rare for me. So, now I'm really wondering if it's a fluke, an "up-cycle" or "good stint", or the ECT having some effect. We called the doc again to have him call and talk to me about it. But, during my last treatment, he did say, the MOST ECT would do, IF it worked, was give me 30% improvement. For the "torture" of going through ECT, I really want much more than a "possible" 30%.

>I too have been unemployed for over a year and I feel so useless and dispensible since for most of us, work gives us self esteem and in this society work is all you are. I have a few friends but they do not understand depression, who could, unless you've been there.

You're so lucky you have some friends, even if they can't understand your depression (I've found almost no one without depression truly understands it, and of course I've met WAY too many people who have harshly judged me, thinking I'm weak, etc, and that the depression is something I should just "snap out of". Nothing makes me more angry than this type of ignorance about depression, and mental illness in general - especially when it's SO easy to pop on the web (and other non-tech sources) real info on these REAL disorders.
I'm still at a complete loss why my so-called-coworker friends all abandoned me, and it really, really, really bothers me. Anyway, I could write pages on that subject...

> The latest thing I have tried is an endocrinology workup which may be a good place to try and see if you are hypothyroid or figure out if your adrenals may have pooped out with chronic depression.

I'm going to print out this section of your message and pursue this path. There's no way I'm giving up, for a handful of reasons, mainly as I can't tolerate "living" this way, and I need to get better, for my family.

>results in 1987 w nardil, 1991 w marplan and some successful with Celexa, wellbutrin and adderall. Right now I am on nardil but recently had a hypertensive reaction which scared the living daylights out of me, and my doc. I had added a stimulant to the nardil and it reacted.

1987, ouch. I've only been severely depressed for a couple years, and bipolar/hypo-manic/depressed for many years before that, since maybe 1990-ish.
I've tried all the above meds. I had a couple hypertensive reactions, and yes, they are scary. I do have a med to take in case I get one. Procardia - some docs don't even know about it. Sad.

> I'm all for less, useless psych meds and a different type of med to try and get something going. THis may be something that could help you too.

With all my AD failures, I feel the same way. I've always felt something else was wrong and I don't have "standard" depression.

> I hope you find some relief soon, I know what you are going through, no work, depression and an existence that seems meaningless. So many of us here can relate to what you are going through and wish we could offer help and valuable suggestions. At least there is psychobabble to reach out to when no one else understands us, right?

Yep, I've been posting here off and on for years?. It definitely helps. I've been so scared and worried lately, so much that it causes insomnia (which I take Klonopin for, which is losing it's effect btw) about my situation. I have NO life insurance (it used to be through work), I'm worried about how long we can afford to live here (our dream house/neighborhood, to a degree anyway), and if I'll EVER be able to work again. Very, very worried...

Thanks for the post and support.

-E of Manchester, NH, USA




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