Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Still no cure for my depression - tried everything

Posted by Enigma on August 11, 2007, at 11:35:41

Out of work now for over a year, and it's going to be tough as hell to live in my current house on state disability.

Just had my 8th ECT session, 3 of which were bilateral, and this is my 2nd round of ECT treatments (had 8-10 sessions a year ago). If anything I feel worse than when I started. Just left a message on the doctor that I no longer want to continue treatments. Only had 2 more scheduled treatments anyway. What's the point if all they do is cause MORE pain?

Prior to this, tried every drug/cocktail in the book.. pretty much literally. AD's, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, etc. They either didn't work at all, had severe side-effects I needed other meds to treat (that didn't work), or made me suicidal, psychotic, or more depressed, a zombie, etc. Fun!

Since I left my job, basically all "incoming" communication with my so-called "friends", has stopped. If I don't constantly email or call them, they don't contact me. Good friends huh? I wish they would all.. ahh, nm. I tried the "friendship test". Don't contact them at all, and see how long (if ever) it takes for them to contact you. Well, out of 10+ people I was, what most people would say "fairly good friends" with, not ONE has contacted me.

Changing back to my condition...
So pdoc my "specialist" is stumped, and has no idea what to prescribe for me, and his idea was to try ECT again, even though I KNEW it was going to be a complete waste of my time.

So here I am, everyday wanted to die, but can't, as I won't do that to my wife and kids. Unfortunately, I care for others more than I do myself, so, they unknowingly keep me trapped "here", in this miserable existence. I'm too depressed to even enjoy having a family, or anything else for that matter.

So what now?

I'm thinking of going back on the horrible Nardil, which was about the only drug that produced some AD effects, but not without pretty massive side effects. The SE's usually win and I quit taking the drug. This would be my 4th time trying to tolerate it.

Are there any new drugs? (tried Emsam, had nasty skin reactions to it and had to stop it).. Is there anything I can do?

Therapy has never helped me either. I'm textbook treatment resistant. Joy.




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